1. Relevant and super helpful! In therapy recently I realised I had lost my 'normal' but some time and applying the techniques in this video and work in my own therapy will definitely help ♥

  2. Thank you! This was so helpful! I've struggled with depression since I was about 9, I've always found it hard to separate the things I do because im depressed and the things I do because I'm human.

  3. I find the glasses thing a really useful everyday tool. Someone who is mentoring me at the moment calls mine my ‘faulties’, so every time I doubt my performance in something, or if I meet someone and think they hate me, etc, I imagine her telling me to take my faulties off…because it’s coming from someone I trust in my head, it helps me believe it and begin to see what ‘normal’ MIGHT feel like. 🙂 xx

  4. I'm also struggling with depression and anxiety for years now. My psychiatrist once asked me, "How are you? Are you feeling happy? Blah blah blah" I answered, "I don't even know what "happy" is anymore. All I know is I feel "normal" sometimes." Normal for me is when I attended my classes, get out of bed without having to push myself, socialize or just simply talking to people, not having anxiety attacks for a whole day. By just getting my daily tasks done or what I have to do for the day is an achievement for me and then at the end of the day, I'll realize that these small things that I did made me feel normal again because I did things like any other normal people would do on a daily basis. And I always wonder how other people get up in the morning without having to put a lot of effort to live for the day. I don't know, does it even make sense? ?

  5. I put on a happy face whenever I am in public even if it was just for family members and if I told them that I need help they will never believe me. It's kind of my fault because I never showed them how serious it was but I hate showing off any symptom of depression. I try as hard as I can not to let people ask me if I was ok. Nobody is going to believe it when I am 200% that I have some sort of mental health illness. What shall I do???

  6. Thank you for this! When I was first diagnosed, I felt very confused about what my "normal" was. I thought had I been living a lie? I hope to find a therapist soon to help me understand how depression & anxiety have shaped me as a person since I've had them for so long.

  7. I needed this video today! This describes me so much recently thank you for helping me better understand myself and learn more about myself. Keep up the good work you're so pretty! Xxxx

  8. Thank you for this! I’ve often felt this way because I’ve struggled with depression since I was in my twins without necessarily acknowledging it until I was 22.

  9. Kati, I’ve been doing a lot of research on the “ACES” study-have you heard of this? I’m reading a book called “Childhood Disrupted” which discusses the study, as well as a lot of other similar subjects around childhood adversity. I think this info is mind blowing regarding depression and anxiety.

  10. Thank you Kati for your time and effort to make these great and helpful videos. You have helped me understand many things about different psychological issues.

  11. It’s gonna be interesting to see how therapy can help change my thought patterns and behaviours in general. I start in 2 weeks ?As far back as I can remember I have at least been anxious, depression joined the table later on. Ahh I’m nervous and excited to finally be ‘getting my shit together’. Thanks Kati, I wouldn’t have even thought about going into therapy again if I hadn’t found you 🙂 <3

  12. WOW , Kati , you are quit the mind reader , and a friend , I remember I was about 8 years old and my late mom got the news her mom , my nanny was dying from cancer and back in `61 there was not a lot of treatment options , and there was the fear that if an operation was performed , just air coming in contact with the cancer could exacerbate the illness , so many cancer patients that may have survived did not due to ignorance and fear in the medical community. Anyway , my nanny died in May of `62 , I was 9 and I watched my granddad and mom fall apart , and I have never been the same since , I am know 65 and thank goodness I am getting help. It is a dark road when most of your live has been spent witnessing other people leaving. It hurts to much to cry , but I wish I could  Thanks for your help , G.

  13. Hi Kati, I love the message here. I say to myself "notice that," whenever an anxious or depressive feeling comes up (or just any feeling in general). I've been doing so for a couple months now and its made me a lot happier!

  14. Can someone please tell me if they experience something similar … I've struggled with some things in my adolescence and then again 4 or 3 years ago in my early 20s. Now I no longer feel like I really still have mental issues let alone a mental illness, but I suspect I'm a bit stuck in between having those issues and really being well. I feel like I don't 'belong' to either side. I'm doing well enough to not have to seek help, but I'm not doing well enough to really enjoy my life or be comfortable with myself most days. And now I don't know … is this just 'who I am' or are there more steps to recovery which I haven't yet taken… . I think it's sometimes difficult to see if the way you perceive yourself and life is quite similar to the way others perceive life and themselves, or if it is 'tainted' by some 'mental' thing. Sometimes I just think: Well, life's hard for all of us, probably most people secretly have mixed feelings about this life and themselves. I think what I just wrote also ties in with the question of what 'normal' is.

  15. Wow, the quality looks amazing in this video, lighting and background on point. Keep up the good work!! Thank you for all that you do!

  16. Hey kati , I love this video! but I have a video idea/question. How can I get help if my emotionally abusive parents won’t let me. I’ve spoken to my school counsellor but we didn’t click so I decided to stop going. But I struggle with depression and want to get help but I’m assuming my parents don’t let me see a therapist bc there scared I would say the stuff they do. How can I get help ? Thanks x

  17. Hi Kati!
    I hope you're doing great!
    My partner and I have some infidelity issues and I was wondering how can a couple recover from that? Our case is a little different, we were dating for a while then broke up for almost a year and I started dating someone else (X). After breaking up with this last person (X), I got back together with my current partner. My partner knows that me dating the other guy shouldn't be classified as cheating but he cannot help but feel that he has been betrayed. Thinking about the other guy pains him a lot which pains me and I'm worried that this issue will hurt our relationship or worse that he might end up breaking up with me since he won't be able to fully trust me again. How can I help my partner heal and how can he help himself deal with these emotions/thoughts?

    Thank you very much for all the help you provide, you have no idea about the magnitude of your impact <3 <3 <3 much love !! <3

  18. my therapist gave me a project to help with my low self esteem. Basically you write a bunch of positive characteristics about yourself down, or in my case, have people write them for you cuz you can’t think of any. Rip them up and put them in a jar. Every morning and every night, pick a piece of paper out of the jar and read it. It’s a nice way to start and end your day on a positive note. I recommend this to anyone struggling with self worth like I was and still am struggling with!!

  19. The way you move your hands is so helpful for a much more easy-to-understand way to learn :), I'm gonna support your channel, keep up the good work ! And remember to keep thinking.

  20. I have a question, can a person that is very well-known for his stupidity change and become something better ? And shock all the people that kept criticizing him and saying that his life is done ? That's depression-related question, because that person has already losed hope in life to become a genius.

  21. I have a question… In school I have to go to a kindergarden every two weeks for practising to work with children in the future. So one time I didn't feel well and I couldn't manage to do anything. Then the woman that works there told me if I couldn't even do my school work then I should go see a therapist instead of being annoying and she said I should better have stayed at home if I'm to dumb to do my stuff. I was really hurt and that made me feel even worse. So is she allowed to say things like that?

  22. Something that helps me, personally, is reminding myself to commit to memory my moments of clarity. Because they do happen sometimes; after being in a fog for a while, I have a good day where I notice I feel light and motivated. I usually end up getting a lot done on those days, so I make myself pay attention and really take note of those times so I can recall them later when I get foggy again. Then I can know what my true self looks like and be able to fight some of my bad thoughts with the kind of thinking I had during my moments of clarity.

  23. Thank you so much for your videos. I am in such a terrible place in my life and I try to watch your videos and put your advice into action, but as a part of my depression I never follow through. I have been to several doctors and behavior specialist, counselors and etc. I have not found the right one yet or maybe I have and I did not give it a chance. My anxiety makes me so sick I dread going to my appointments the day before and end up canceling or rescheduling. I am hurting all my family with my cold isolation behavior. And that's the last thing I want to do. It's gone on for so long now I feel it is not repairable. My issues are so deep and I am beyond lost with grief, depression, anxiety, been told maybe bipolar, OCD, I watch your videos and I have so many symptoms of so many different mental illness. I wish you were closer to where I live I kinda feel your the only one that can understand the way my brain is wired, and that's crazy we have never even spoke before. I am so desperate to be my old self again.

  24. I was relatively normal until I was fifteen years old, though there were areas of my life that were subject to a lot of fear. When I look back on it I can see the seeds of my subsequent dysfunction, even when I was young. Life sure became dismal after all the fears and paranoia set in.

  25. I struggle with this a lot, and am coming out of a ten-year depression. What I found the most helpful was not remembering what my normal WAS, but deciding what I want it to be from now on. Thanks for the bid!

  26. I'm such a fan of your videos. I love how you explain things in a simple, concise manner and have a deep understanding of mental health. You're making such a difference by sharing your knowledge and I am so grateful for it 🙂

  27. Cool! I was thinking that there is no such thing as "normal" when i see the title, but as the video goes on, i realize that the normal you mean is comparing to yourself. I can live with that.

  28. Have you ever thought of making a podcast Kati? I like hearing what you have to say but it would be great to listen to you on the go. I listen to podcasts every morning to get me prepared for the day and I really feel like if you made them it could help me as well as others.
    Thank you 🙂

  29. You've really highlighted the impact of depression well here. As a therapist, one of the main roles is to allow the client to experience an environment where they may come to a level of awareness and acceptance of themselves and their circumstances. Therapy can be so helpful for those experiencing depression and anxiety!

  30. Hi! So my best friend really struggles with anxiety and depression. I also have anxiety but it’s is not as bad as hers. I won’t understand what she goes through. I want to be a mental health therapist. And I just want to know how to help her the best I can. She says she has mental blocks were she physically can’t say stuff, and she feels like she’s feels like she is in a room with so many TVs turned on and she can’t focus on one (that’s how she explained it to me) I just want to try to help her the best. Is there any tips and tricks you can tell me so I can help her or anyone later in life?

  31. This book helped me a lot with my anxiety and depression, HIGHLY RECOMMEND:
    To help yourself, YOU have to take the first step to educate yourself

  32. Obrigada! (Just means thank you)
    Thank you for answer the question, because I really struggle to know. Sometimes I just ask to my best friend and she say to me if my thought is a real concern or just me "been crazy". And when I'm alone I asked to my brain and start to discuss alone with myself – sounds crazy but works.

  33. This letter starting at 13 seconds is my life. I have always been depressed and EXHAUSTED, and I have had several therapists diagnose me with MDD.

  34. So I have a problem and I wanted to know if you can help me I don’t know if I struggle from anxiety or not and I know I should go see a therapist about that but the thing is we don’t have money to go to one and your therapist so I wonder if I can get your advice so lately for a long time I’ve been having extreme like situations where my head starts going very lightheaded and then I start breathing heavy to the point where it’s noticeable so then I try to slow it down but then I feel like it’s worse and I need more air and and then I try tapping my fingers or movie in my leg and it could just be a simple as sitting in class and it just happens and that makes it really hard to focus in class also I get like thoughts like a lot about my self worth and my dream job and future (because I’m trying to work towards my dream job right now) and just a lot of doubts, worry, and panic about it and about every little thing and about my future well I don’t want to go to Indep into it but I was wondering do I have a little bit of anxiety or is this all just normal I really hope it’s normal.

  35. For years I haven't been able to tell the difference between how I feel until I hit a low or a high I can't even tell the difference between a breakdown and a panic attack but this did in fact help I'm so glad I found this

  36. I wish you were my therapist :'DD I've been trying to find one whom I can imagine working with. The last one I saw made his secretary cry…twice. Sooo NOPE, I haven't found mine yet lol

  37. For me I can tell what's normal and what's not is by being on my medication. For so long I was against medication because when I was younger ( elementary school ) I was on so many different medications. From anxiety and depression and insomnia and ADHD and hplori and I was always really sensitive to medication so I just decided I didn't want to be on medication ever again and I have to admit I was managing but it was hell. It wasn't until I hit 18 that i decided that I needed to try again ( or anything ) or else I was going to die because of how many suicide attempts I had. I am so happy to say I have found an amazing psychologists that has worked with me to find the right medication and it has been such a blessing. I actually feel normal now and it feel absolutely amazing to not feel horrible all the damn time. I have now been if my meds cold turkey for a few weeks and it has been hell again. Not only am I dealing with the symptoms of my anxiety and depression but I am having horrible horrible withdrawals. I love my psychiatrist so much but he cost 250 with insurance. I would hate to go to another psychiatrist because I have been to so many in my life and I hate having to open up all over to a new person and the last psychiatrists I had tried to lock me up without telling me parents. It sucks but for me, feeling normal is being on Zoloft and seroquil.

  38. I haven't gone to a professional because I have this terrible anxiety that I must being doing something productive at all times. This makes me isolate myself, and makes my job as cashier miserable. I spend all of my free time on music, and I can't play live ( or find opportunities too), and I also can't seem to get to the point that I can play cleanly.

  39. WAIT WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?! I'M NOT MAD BUT SOMEONE WAS DEPPRESSED WHEN THEY WERE FOUR?!! So… I'm not THAT young but.. I could actually have depression?? I have a LOT of symptoms of depression and life is living hell but I could actually have depression??? My mom told my sister that she just wanted attention even though I know that isn't true she said "Oh you're just a teenager, you can't have depression you just want attention like other teenagers" please clarify this for me I'm kinda confused…

  40. This is a question I keep asking myself too. For most of my adult life I've felt unhappy. There is just this heavyness in everything. I've had a depression a few years ago and always say that I got out of it. But I am starting to wonder if it just changed into a milder version. Or is life just hard? Does everyone around me feel similar? I honestly don't know. From september until december that heavyness was gone for a while. That was the first time in a very long time that I could call myself happy. Which doesn't mean that I was happy all the time but I was just not constantly thinking about how unhappy I was. Everything felt like less of a struggle. Is that normal? Is that how normal people feel? Or was I just unusually happy then?

  41. To be honest, ive stopped watching your videos because you seemed like some one who always talks about medication/ drugs but this is refreshing. Thanks!

  42. Hi Kati, You are helping me so much through my experience of GAD and depression. Hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. When I get lost your videos are there, thank you. I loved your self care video. Trying to do that without feeling guilty that I should be doing other things.

  43. I have a question. I like being alone, but sometimes I want to have someone to be at the same house with me, but I don't want them to come near me, talk to me or to make any noises, for example like them watching tv if I'm doing something else, cause it irritates me. In summary, somedays I have the need to see or sense someone around the place but without noises. Is this normal? Btw I suffer from GAD and panic attacks.

  44. I remember having panic attacks from a young age. It's hard for me not to believe 'i am my mental illness'

  45. I am diagnosed with chronic major depression today… It felt weird being diagnosed after a long time I felt theres something wrong. I knew and suspected that I have depression.. But after being diagnosed by a psychiatrist, it changes a lot.. Now i dont know what to think, what i know is that I'll be starting to take my meds tomorrow morning with prozac.

  46. That was really helpful. My own experience is that sometimes, I'm able to look from a distance and tell myself "today was a good day. I'm not feeling tired. I'm relaxed right now", and i try to enjoy this little moment, to breathe, because it's not often. Recently I had a few months where I realised what "normal" could be. My life was good, I was happy, and it was weird. I'm 30 and it was the first time in my life I felt like this, like the world was going my way, and i didn't have to struggle every day. So thanks to you, I realised I'm not alone wondering about "normal" 🙂

  47. What kind of advice would you have for someone who knows what normal has felt like, but now the new "normal" is anxiety/depression based thoughts, feelings and moods? I'm more or less able to notice the effect of anxiety/depression but sometimes I'm kind of annoyed because it feels like I just have to accept it and like I'm sort of powerless. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist to try and get myself back to normal.

  48. I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety since I was about six so for as long as I can remember. I've also recently started struggling with depression, and I don't really remember how it felt not to have a empty feeling all the time already…

  49. I know what's normal since my youth 20 years ago when i discovered what real life really is: pain, hell and unhappiness. I had a very wrong idea of the world in my innocence, that's why mental illness appear in youth, as soon as we become adults we look at the hell that living is and we immediately stop smiling. Real question here is how not to get depressed in this toxic world, a pill will not give that answer.

  50. Thanks so much for your videos Kati! They help a great deal. Can you recommend any online therapists? I’m having trouble finding good-rated ones near me.

  51. Loved the vid!! Thanks for the idea to incorporate my counseling style and counseling experiences into my vids. Take care!❤❤

  52. I'm 51 and I still don't know what normal is. I was does diagnosed with depression at age 36 ish.

    More than missinga normal feeling…I think I'm actually afraid to be happy. I know this is negative self talk but things go bad whenever I'm happy. I'm my mind i know better but somehow i believe differently. I have other contradictory thinking.(Mostly with a depressed or anxious theme.)

  53. Even when I try, my parents always have a bar set too high to reach. It feels like I cant meet their expactations anymore or like when I do try they always compare it the level of enthusiasm I had when I was a kid. Or that I'm wrong because they're adults

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