DR GABOR MATÉ – CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CREATES ADDICTION – Part 1/2 | London Real

DR GABOR MATÉ – CHILDHOOD TRAUMA CREATES ADDICTION – Part 1/2 | London Real

100 comments

  1. I might have to differ on his comment about digital media. He said it should be introduced at an age where the people can handle it. (like sex and alcohol example). This is not true, because we witness first hand around us how the old generation reacts to digital media. They have not grown up with it. Not as babies, not as children, not as teenagers. Yet now, when they're 50 they can't stay off of it! hands up how many of you have those old aunties who NEVER leave facebook! A second example would be the TV. We have all grown up with TV. However, fast forward now, how much are we really addicted to TV? Personally I am not, I can't stand watching it too much. I can easily go for a book. And even easier for digital media, something I have NOT grown up with. So, yes, he's not making a good case for the digital media. We are probably more addicted to human connection than we are addicted to devices. We crave human connection. Thats actually our problem now a days.

  2. Brian. -would u like some holidays in andalucia in a traditonlal "andalu! house token over by quiet "disturbed" peps of norwegia and germany..? U, ur kids, ur wife ur gonna be very welcome. then then, (just in case), if we would sit then there in front of that chiminea, -maybe you tell me about the phonenumber of Gabor.. Come.. -u inclusive yours are welcome.. See forward for your so vital couriosity..
    Bienvenido..

  3. Never ever beat or spank or punish a child. Children only watch and learn from their parent or care giver. Attend to them, and be aware, and be sensitive to know what their needs are at all times. Always keep in mind that children can't communicate their needs well, so its up to adults to put themselves to a child's situation. Children will never have to throw tantrum if their communication signals are understood, and their needs are met.

  4. Many things Mr Gabor said resonates with my upbringing. I was brought up in India sothe western values of upbringing were alien to us there. Indian values are all about being tough but nuturing at the same time. Parents always prioritize their children there more then their lives so no separations and good core values are taught. Materialism and internet was not a thing in those days. I remember my father never allowed us to watch telly more then an hour a day. But instead let us play outside with other children and taught us to be fit and how to grow food i.e gardening. We always use to play in rain, soil and with our toys. Always taught to share, love and respect. Mother was very busy doing job and work but always had us near while doing all her work. Always be patient to all our endless questions and never hit us, punish us or be angry at us. It was very demanding but it taught a lesson for life, more then a lesson a feeling or a emotion to cherish and share with my children. Not saying Indian parenting is perfect but surprised how what is being discovered now was already practised by my mother years ago. Where mother was nuturing and father was firm. Both held their roles and always supported. Blessed to have such parents.

  5. Omg love this and so refreshing to see his work getting around. Kids need to feel all things as do us! We are in this together and my favorite comment is it is all within, not external, not a pill! Thank you for the interview ❤

  6. Such a refreshing man…always truthful and honest in his answers. Bless you and much gratitude for sharing with us ❤️

  7. Just wonderful, i have been following you for years and you and your show is one of the reason i bless digital media otherwise i find it very harmful. I feel i am not alone with you and all these amazing guests you invite! Thank you for being Brian….

  8. Im a woman that will be seventy soon. and I can tell you that the world is real sick. We kill babies and save the deer —— wake up

  9. OK, I decided that the teachers weren't going to win and decided that just because back in 1965 they took the pencil out of my left hand and put it in my right hand I decided to become ambedexterous so I broke one of many cycles. I did that for myself, so I won that debate. how many people can say that? I won the debate .

  10. In abusive emvironment social media is Access to Different Kind of People, Different Role Models. Gabors' opinion on social media seems almost abusive to me…

  11. has changed our parenting style and we're starting to see a difference straight away… thank you for this video!

  12. All humans have an addictive aspect to them. Not all humans feed their addictions. All childhoods have some pain in them but of course some have more. I think we always have a choice. It is easier not to start a unhealthy behaviour than to try and beat it later on in life.

  13. "All addiction comes from trauma" seems like a bold claim, and one I can't really get behind. I have had a good life. I haven't really had any undo trauma. Yet, I have and do suffer from addiction with multiple things. I know others who are the same. Addiction is absolutely more complicated than it just always being caused by trauma.

  14. This guy is incredible, never heard of him before. I would love to interview him for a documentary. Great and important interview

  15. Once again people must take science and present circumstance out of the equation and create a new confession system this time based on childhood. As if all German parents pre WWII were the cause. More stigma for addicts and their families.

  16. Give me a break. Everyone has trauma in their lives. Life is opposites. Up, down, happy, sad, pleasure, pain. Life is contrast. You can’t have one of anything in life without its oppose being there.
    The trauma isn’t the problem. The problem is how people deal with it.
    Two examples.
    Boo hoo my mommy didn’t hug me enough.
    Next example.
    I wish my mother had been more affectionate but events in her life effected her in ways I can only begin to grasp.
    Snowflake generation. Bunch of babies that need a kick in the ass.

  17. WOW what a phenomenal interview this one was! Share this fantastic information with everyone you know it’s so important!

  18. Basically, he needs to walk his talk. He really needs to work hard on his workaholism which comes from depending on the "high" he gets from his strengths like helping people in writing and knowing all about addictions but when he isnt "high" from it and hes off work and at home and he hasnt put as much effort into his relationship with his wife which makes the lows of being off work and with his wife feel so low (she feels neglected etc. Etc) compared to the extreme high he gets at work from a dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline "high".
    Imbalanced effort has slowly become more and more off balance till it takes over him. An addiction is loving something/someone of lesser value at the great expense of something/someone of more value, himself and his wife and family)
    So basically he needs to back off his addiction completely for long while and go put his knowledge to work on his own life. Be an example. If you only preach what you know without practicing it, what good is it for you.
    If he doesnt choose to quit soon, from what he looks like, he'll be forced to in some way; most likely his failing health due to the stress and consequences of his addiction (workaholism) and / or his wife will leave him, then he'll lose it all.
    You've got to diligently find your weaknesses and work hard on them as well as continually work on your strengths but never allowing your weaknesses to get pushed aside for too long. The more they're pushed aside, ignored, denied, procrastinated, the further they will go down and the harder it will be to get them up again and balanced. That's a True love/tough love balanced love.
    Walk his talk

  19. my step mother was evil and hateful and so was my step father(S) … people dont realize how traumatizing it is … both parents divorce then both parents remarry … theres TWO threats at the same time … anytime you're bringing a new person into a family with children it requires a VERY special person … i have three boys and a girl … anyone (even friends) who wants to spend time with me has to win them over first <3

  20. He’s right. First seven years is important in bringing up a child and the first three years are even more crucial. There’s a Chinese saying: You can see how a child is like at age 30 when he’s 3.

  21. The problems i have isn't with negotiating within myself, that is the easy part. But how others impact my life and those i care about, that is a problem i cannot control, and i cannot deal and cope with that very well, because it's just nonsense and chaos and madness, and i don't want to have that in my life anymore. I can live with my choices well enough, but others behavior and choices and interaction and actions, it's very difficult to get along with others. unless i fully control the encounter. There are very few people that will allow me that though, but those are the only people i can tolerate. Everyone else just causes problems, and not the kind of problems that are productive and worth time and effort. Mostly it seems like a need for a attention that they lack elsewhere and think that I am the one who will put up with them.

  22. I grew up with a dad who never wanted to spend time with me or teach me about life and a mother who was a depressed narcissist .I do not have any addictions but severe mental pain from this affected my life.

  23. Gabor's authenticity is so compelling, attracting, healing, and comforting.

    It's crazy how this man is not on mainstream media. He is to dangerous and infectious to let loose on the population.

  24. I have to stop watching. How can people be so emotionally handycapped? Two kids, how did you get to have them? They are not your children. Your wife has made two kids for a man who is using words like engage with the kids, as if they were some kind of robots. Be there… Bullshit! What about playing, laughing, feeling the love? You feel nothing but still you make children? What a fucked up world. There is no hope for humanity. It should be wiped out. And stop making children!

  25. Brian rose, you talk about your wife and your child as third parties not so much as your family. Do you ever try stepping into father role ? Be present with them, leave your ego behind. You seem very unaware of parenting.

  26. Of course ipads and mobile 'phones, wifi, also damage DNA, produce cognitive disorders, autism, diabetes start cancer etc -Might be additional reasons not to give them to children . Also they lower iq – the microwave radiation , not just the interraction….

  27. He states in regard to social media and Facebook, "…except the friends are not real friends…..and the likes are not real likes, because what is being presented on digital media is a simulacrum of the real self. It's a self chosen particle of who I really am, and that's what shows up on Facebook." I don't disagree with what he said, but would point out that people do this outside of social media, as well. This is exactly what occurs when kids (and even adults for that matter) dress up, speak, and/or behave in certain ways that they are not naturally inclined to, but feel compelled to do so in order to impress others and be welcomed as a friend. Even without doing those things, whoever it is that anyone spends any time with only encounters the exterior appearance, actions, behaviors, comments, and expressions of that other person , and does so only during that time (or those times) when they are together. A person may happen to like all of those things about that other person, and may generalize that liking as being a liking of that person, but they do not actually know that person as a whole. In fact, there might actually be any number of things about that other person that they do not know, but that happen to be things that they dislike.

  28. Gabor Maté and others who make careers out of discussing childhood trauma usually ignore the most severe trauma inflicted on children, genital mutilation. Cultural blinders and religions nonsense keep scholars like Gabor Maté silent, and as such, complicit in the act of sexual mutilation of children. Until such "scholars" are willing to address this studied and obvious oversight their work will remain superficial and incomplete.

    Genital mutilation of children is abhorrent to rational and sane people.

  29. I sincerely wish that I was a Workaholic !!! It's so much more profitable than being a procrastinator.

  30. Bullshit.. I was heavily addicted to pain meds for 10 years. 300 mg a day. I didn't have childhood trama. All these "experts" don't knkw shit about addiction and dependence!

  31. So Gabor meet Sadhguru and his is doing his practis:) funny tho;) it just shows me again that the mind and knowledge has nothing to do with actual happiness and real quality of life:)

  32. How a to kick bad addiction is to get addicted to multiple good addictions. Only the addicted would understand this addiction;-)

  33. Another one with narcissistic personality disorder trying to teach us something…. why don't you sort out yourself first? Sorting out other people's issues is just a distraction for all your own problems

  34. Not always, I've experienced so much trauma since childhood, no addictions. Just a little medication.
    My faith & hope in Jesus Christ has always been my lifeline, my only councellor. 🤷‍♀️🇦🇺 a Divine intervention/ presence! 🙏

  35. I am a heroin addict in recovery. I had nearly zero childhood trauma, or adult trauma. It was well after addiction began before I had trauma

  36. Too vague, overarching. People can become addicted to anything- even over analyzing. Trauma or predisposition? The debate continues.

  37. I followed the ‘contented little baby’ regimen for my boys. Listening to this, I regret it. All you can do is follow the advice of the experts of the day……

  38. Wow again, I am a father as well and this Interview shows clearly that Parenting is one of the most important « Profession «  ( if I can use this word) that one can practice and despite all the good Educational systems we have in every country, we are never taught about parenting…We take it for granted, but we should pay a little more attention to this role when we decide to become parent… and the question comes: « Did we solved our own issues before becoming Parents? If not, we become « Kids » having kids you know what I mean…:-) So good this Interview… Love it. Thanks Brian

  39. Having kids, Becoming a Father and a Mother seems to be too easy…But Parenting doesn't come with a owner manual. This Interview is so great as it describe pretty much what all of us, as Parent are going through, whether we want to admit or not, whether we want to stay blind to it or not…And for all of us, Parents, solutions are not obvious. We unfortunately think that sending our kids to "School" will educate them…First big mistake…No Schooling system in the world can replace the important role of Father and Mother. Education is still one of the Profession can is "Stagnant" since hundreds of year, because it never succeeded in bridging the connection with the Parents (In the real sense) …and then addiction of all sort becomes inevitable…Even Facebook is the biggest addiction of our Time and should be considered as a problem more than a solution in many scenarios, especially when it replace the Parent role some time…There is a lot to think about from this Interview…Again…Thank you Brian for "Making it Real" again.

  40. Wonder if one completely accepts that one is totally insignificant then will one suffer from such problems. ?

  41. I freely admit that what he says is good stuff but after thinking about it, I wonder why he is pushing his ideas as much as he is. He admitted that he couldn't be a parent to his child when he was younger. I can't help but feel that this work he is doing now, is a way to get round his shame of what he failed to do as a parent in his younger days.

  42. Wow, first i discovered Byron Katie, now Gabor Mate!! These people are great and are saying the opposite of what all the "experts" on tv are saying.

  43. Love Gabor. I grew up with an anxious avoidant attachment. I guess my mum did too. It comes down the generations. Generational patterns that are negative will continue until someone breaks the link in the chain and does something different. I blamed mum for a long time. In therapy I discovered mum was just as avoidant. I'm 51 and was born at a time when children must be 'seen and not heard'. Today I'm still silenced easily. Rewiring the brain takes patience and effort but is worth it. Gabor's approach should be taught in parenting classes and schools in my opinion.

  44. So many folks that play a role (i.e. foster parents, parents, social workers) in the child welfare system need to learn from this.

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