Experience with Reproductive Medicine Associates of New York (RMANY)

What’s up Fertility Fam how are you
this video is about my experience with Reproductive Medicine Associates of New
York RMA New York hi thanks for clicking on Simply Tanika
I am Tanika if you are new here welcome hit that subscribe button let’s hang out
awhile if you are returning welcome back let’s get those babies ladies first and
foremost I want to tell you that I am a woman without regrets I don’t have any regrets
I want to tell you about my experience I think all of my experiences in life
have led me to where I am today I’m happy with where I am today so these are
the things that I learned along the way this is about my experience with them
your experience might be different but I would love to have seen a video like
this when I was looking for reproductive endocrinologist or a fertility doctor I
didn’t know where to start and so I’m putting this out there is anyone is
searching in case anyone is considering RMA if anyone is considering any
fertility doctor to have some sort of reference because when you go into it
it’s what I went into it I had no idea what to expect so first if you’re new
here welcome look if you are relatively new
this is your first video welcome let me know where you are in your journey to
bring home your baby but I want to give you a little bit of background I had a
miscarriage last year at 45 years old I was pregnant naturally at 45 miscarried
at 10 weeks if you haven’t seen that video I’ll put it over here yeah so
right after the miscarriage it was on April 24 I turned 46 on May 7 and then
on May 22nd at my notes over here on May 22nd that was my first appointment at
RNA in New York I met with dr. Beth McEvoy and she was my primary doctor it
really is there are a lot of doctors so you see different people the time that I
was there I was at RMA for a total of 12 months I saw dr. Beth McEvoy twice the
first time was on the 22nd of May and then the second time was in November and
I’ll get to that I’ve written out a timeline so I’ll go through that first
experience there I was a little overwhelmed when I went in there were
chairs everywhere and I couldn’t understand why any doctor’s office would
need so many chairs like I just I’m used to like a regular my gynecologist office
has a bitch it maybe sits 16:18 people max this room could have
easily sat 100 peoples I think that was just a little confusing to me when in
the afternoon there was no one there i sat down but it was just notable why was
there so many chairs met with the doctor we sat down first so before any blood
exam or assessment or review of my medical records she recommended because
of my age that I go the route of donor eggs and told me you know she could have
me pregnant in no time with donor eggs I told her I wasn’t really keen on the
donor egg idea and so then we kind of talked about what my other options were
and she said we could do medicated cycles but they call them natural cycles
because she was thinking or she was stating medication with timed
intercourse it was natural because it was following my it was following my own
natural cycle meaning they weren’t going to take over my cycle with medicine as
they do with IVF like they stopped your period and all its other things so they
considered it natural because my body was leaning so we talked about that we
talked about clomid I told her I had read up on Clemente and that I preferred
to start with Tamara because I don’t know half of my medical history and I am
at risk for cancer clomid also increases your risk for cancer particularly I was
worried about breast cancer had a breast cancer scare I had a circle all kids are
scared so she was fine with that she was like yes let’s protect the breast that
was her direct quote I remember that and so she was fine with the primeira she
said they would start me off on five milligrams which was in the middle if I
were younger she said they would start me off like two point five milligrams
for five days because of my age she wanted to start me off at five and see
how I responded if I did not respond well they would
increase it to seven point five milligrams at the mayor which would be
in three tablets that all seemed reasonable to me
then we went and did an exam so she did a vaginal ultrasound those are always
fun about with Wanda and looked at that she commented that first she said that I
had a low follicle count and then I was like really and she was like well it’s
better than expected for your age which I think that’s doing right if it’s
better than expected for age of course it’s not gonna be like a 30 year olds
but if it’s closed under 40 year olds that’s helpful for me and I did mention
to her that I was hopeful that I didn’t become pregnant with my own egg because
I had just been pregnant and I remember her telling me the reason that I had a
miscarriage I lost the pregnancy was because of bad eggs which was a little
off-putting because I don’t know what she was facing that on other than my age
like you don’t know anything about me my lifestyle what I’m doing like are all my
eggs bad no which didn’t contradicts the fact that you’re willing to let me do a
medicated cycle to see if I can get pregnant on my home because then we’re
just trying with bad eggs so I wasn’t really a fan of that comment then I went
and had a blood draw and went and talked to the nurse and she kind of explained
to me like how the medication would happen what a trigger shot was that I
would come into the office for a trigger shot it was a lot of information I had
to you know ask her to repeat some stuff I took some notes
I remember you’d like she started off and was like oh you had a miscarriage
and then she like hurried through the next sentence and then she caught
herself and came back it said I’m sorry for your loss and I was like thank you
but it was like an astronaut so we went through that I was told to call when I
started my period which would be cycle day one which that was different for me
because I’m a modest person I was before I’m trying to get pregnant and I was
like wait I have to call a stranger and tell them my period starts
but the things we do for love right ladies so I called because I got my
period three days later so I went out of the Monday period started on a Wednesday
so I went back on the Friday which was cycle day three for my cycle day three
full of look now here’s the thing work I want to be very specific there was only
blood work now that I’m at a different clinic I know in the beginning of the
cycle they will do blood work and ultrasound one of their treking persist
they’re checking or early follicle count they’re looking at the lining and making
sure everything is okay that did not happen at RMA there was not a ultrasound
follicle scan at the beginning of the cycle and I would go in from anywhere
from cycle day seven to cycle day five depending on at that time we called it
later change to you just send an email so you didn’t speak with anyone and then
they gave you a sheet of paper saying if it starts on this day then come in on
this day for testing between these hours that was another thing so when you come
in for testing you do not get a scheduled appointment you have a range
you come in from 7:00 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. and
inevitably people would flood the offices at 8:15 because who really wants
to be there at 7:00 so there were a lot of people on text day showing up at 8:15
all of us there wants waiting get our blood work done and then finally all
those chairs made sense because there’s so many bodies in there you need to have
seats for the buttons that are coming in and so that place would be blood and I
don’t know if it was 300 I never counted it there are a lot of bodies in there
and I went to two separate offices they had one on the east side one on the west
side always built on testing always filled to the brim on testing so that’s
beginning of the cycle then I went in for my mid cycle scan and that was to
see how I was responding to the premiere and basically they would look at my
follicle count follicle size uterine lining how thick it was if everything
looked clear so that’s the first time in the cycle that were having an ultrasound
which now I know if I had cysts they were not going to be able to detect it
at that point just regular so it’s not like polycystic ovarian syndrome but if
I had like one or two of those follicles versus they wouldn’t know and they
didn’t do any blood work so what I’ve learned now is that at that point in the
mid cycle it’s important to test your estrogen your estradiol e – because you
want X amount curve follicle and if the range is like one to two hundred so if
you have two bottom list who had expected your estradiol to be at least
200 before you would say that they likely had mature eggs within those
follicles no blood work was done at this plant so
we went in for this guy and looked at how many follicles I had how the lining
was doing and based on that information then we would schedule my ID walking and
I’ve jumped ahead sorry so I did that I was scheduled for time intercourse
that’s a whole other story but scheduled for time in apart by the time October
rolled around I was ready for a home insemination so I did my first home
insemination with donor sperm and then I told the clinic that I wanted to do i
you Iowa’s donor sperm that’s and I had my second meeting with dr. Beth McAfee
and that was really just to discuss the fact that I was changing to donor sperm
that was going to be shipped from California cry out she had to sign a
form there were other things going on and she was just like well you’re not
going to be able to convert back to you know non donor and I was like that’s
fine that was really kind of that just of our conversation she gave another
push on donor eggs I told her that it just didn’t sit well with me she was
like well what’s different you’re not gonna know you’re gonna carry the baby
for nine months it’s going to be your baby
except it’s not it’s not biologically my baby and that was a thing I’m not
judging anyone who is doing donor eggs if that is the decision that you came to
and that was right for you I am happy for you I support your choice for me
having a living daughter wanting them to be biologically related the fact that I
am at that point I was 46 I’m going to be so far apart when I leave the earth I
wanted those two to be biologically related so there was no tension or
oddity or whatever right not that there’s a guarantee but I have siblings
I have step siblings I have half siblings I don’t have any
one sibling that has the same mom and dad that I have I know that the siblings
that were worked by my mother I have a stronger connection with than those that
are connected by my father and I actually have a stronger connection with
one of my stepsisters and I do with my other biological sister who are both
from my father just because I think of the age and our time together but so all
those sort of complicated relationships come into play when I make the decision
of I would like to have my own biological child so she gave me the hard
push I told her I would think about it I did go away and think about it I talked
to the therapist about it I considered it I did some research I still came to
the conclusion that it wasn’t for me but at that point I would say I was really
open at least and exploring what the options were and getting to the root of
like why I was like having that gut reaction of it’s not for me
and so that was helpful but she really seemed sort of
put off by the fact that I wasn’t interested in it and I remember her
making the comments about up well you’re smart and then it was like it was an
insult / compliment it was ah it was so that was the second time I talked to her
then in November I went into my first I UI I had a total of four are you eyes
while I was at Army all with donor sperm and now knowing what I know hindsight is
always 20/20 our timing was probably off on all of them specifically there was
the second to last one so my third one my third eye you I we had an issue or I
had an issue with my line and it was too thin they wanted it usually to be at 7.5
at the mid scan and it wasn’t quite there was like it’s six and instead of
having me come in again for another scanned the doctor that I saw just
delayed my ovulation I’m sorry delayed my IUI scheduling delayed my
triggering so pushed it back a day so she said instead of triggering tonight
the day that I had to stand go home and trigger the next night so let’s just say
it was like a Wednesday instead of triggering Wednesday night she had me
trigger on Thursday didn’t check my lining again we don’t know if it grew
she said it should grow one to two millimeters in the next two days and
then you and we left it at that again no blood
work so we don’t know if my foes were mature or not and then we scheduled it
and that was that and so knowing what I know now having gone through the
two-hour you eyes at Columbia one time my lining was not thick enough and it
took a little bit for it to get thicker and we monitored monitored it meaning my
follow goal was like at 20 so they checked the follicle they checked my
estradiol they had me come in every other day to
retest now the Civic will probably say oh they’re making more money from that I
would like to think they were getting more information and making an informed
decision so that we gave my body the best opportunity and the timing the best
opportunity to catch the a the mature egg that was being released so the
lining was right the egg was mature was ready to go before we trigger and so I
just know in my heart now that what happened at RMA the timing we have no
idea it could have been right it could have been wrong but we didn’t have
enough information to feel a high level of comfort in my opinion so then the
last cycle that I did there which was my fourth IU I remember waiting
they were running late the nurse came out it’s a bear a lot of IU eyes I think
I waited two hours and I don’t know enough about how they watch this firm
and process it but I wonder if that impacted like the quality of this firm
because they they’re not refreezing it and I’m assuming that it’s in some
sustainable form because that’s to sustain in your body but frozen sperm
already has the shorter life than fresh sperm and I think it’s like 12 there’s
24 hours and so there hours that it was outside of my body to
that it could have been inside of my body had they been more timely in
putting the part million of our body so that was kind of my experience the other
thing at the very end as you guys know I have a youtube channel the privacy
officer reached out to me from RMA and asked me to take one of my videos down
and so I responded back that I wouldn’t take it down but what was a concern and
I would edit those pieces out but youtube allows you accrued bit of
editing it’s not like you would do in iMovie we kind of went back and forth
and at the end it felt like she was threatening me because she told me that
I was breaking the law that I was violating HIPAA laws which was a
flat-out lie and I don’t know if she I’m gonna say she wasn’t that ignorant
because if she were she is in the wrong profession she shouldn’t have that job
so I’m going to say that she was hoping that I was ignorant and she was preying
on her hope of my ignorance to intimidate me there’s no way that I
could be violating HIPAA because HIPAA is regulatory requirements are between a
care provider and the patient I am NOT a care provider so I have no
responsibility to uphold any HIPAA laws because I don’t have any patients and so
she sent me an email with that twice and the second one I told her as far as I
understand it I am not obligated to anyone for HIPAA laws due to the fact
that I have no patients kind of you know turn tonight’s
understood what she was where she was coming from I obviously want to be
respectful of everyone’s privacy I headed it the video online to what I
thought was like a happy medium to sort of get what she was looking for and what
I was looking for I just didn’t like the fact that it for like she was telling me
and not asking me I’m all about you know partnering with someone and I pay them
so I don’t work for them and I know I’m not a fan of being just told like let’s
talk about it let’s come to a mutual agreement so that was off-putting as
well I sit back asking them for their social media policy I never got it if
you’re gonna have you know such a strong response to me and start giving me
orders of what to do you have a policy in place that way we end up in core we
can refer to the document and say here’s my viewpoint here’s your viewpoint
instead of like this sort of what I felt like I was being relegated to an
inferior position which I just didn’t take kindly to so in the end it all
ended well I left again I am a woman without
regrets so I’m okay I’m having on the arm a in retrospect I
mean if I had it to do over right behind that’s always 20/20 I wouldn’t have gone
I do feel like it was a waste of time and money I paid for my yards out of
pocket because I’m over 35 the insurance that I have doesn’t cover them I was
paying for sperm out of pocket no insurance covers that okay for upper
drill $50 copay thank you for marriage so it adds up I was paying
about $2,000 per cycle so for five cycles it’s $10,000 and we didn’t have
the best information to go on cycles to be successful so yeah that’s
my experience of RMA the staff was all lovely the ladies the phlebotomist who
take the blood and the front desk staff all very lovely all they’re friendly
they remember you and you know asked how you’re doing and it’s very personable no
complaints about the staff again I only saw my doctor twice so that was a little
weird every time I went in there was a strange person in my vagina literally
with the wand which is off-putting I liked it I Colombia when I go in I see
my doctor dr. McConnell is there she does my ultrasound she’s been there
she’s done two of my ideas actually there was a PA and she like supervised
them but she was in the room turned out to for one of my eye you eyes the first
one she was on the premises and they asked me if I wanted her to do it the
male doctor that came in and I was you know I don’t think it changes the
success rate and I knew it would even ease my way time so I said I was fine
with that but the point I’m making is I had the option right like she could have
done or been in attendance for both of my high you eyes that I had there I
didn’t have that option and arm a my doctor was not available or present
during any of my or are you eyes or any of the scans leading up to those and so
that was a little off-putting is you kind of think you want to build a
relationship with the doctor build a rapport and I just didn’t have an
opportunity at RMA which in the end I finally referred to it as the baby
factory because it felt at the end like a factory like that rotation and now I
understand the number of bodies that were going through there to get blood
work and to get scans they couldn’t do an ultrasound and will it work on day 34
when they wouldn’t have been able to maintain that volume and they couldn’t
have been done another ultrasound and blood work on your mid tackles there
because again it’s a matter of volume right or getting people in
about all of those bodies in those seats if they had to wait twice as long it
would have been quite a backlog and everyone showing up at 8:15 so the
things that I like about where I am now I get an appointment for my scan I get a
specific time to go in I’m getting bloodwork and ultrasound each time I go
in my protocol is being adjusted based on how my body is responding so it’s
very specific to me and I feel like we’ve just been better with the timing I
don’t get twice i’m obviously not pregnant yet i think it’s a matter of
time but that’s good my doctor the new doctor over at columbia is open to ivf
with my own eggs where dr. Beckmann mcavee was not it was like no way at
this clinic garden is that going to happen and that was also operating not
that I’m even gung-ho that I have to have IVF I think it’s more about having
the options again I don’t like to be told no and so I think having the option
to do it is a big deal and the fact that I have the option now where I am and get
to explore that I appreciate that so all in all I did not hate my experience at
RMA and I have no regrets I enjoy the staff there learned a lot
while I was there we could have gotten lucky and I got pregnant I just don’t
think all things lined up we made the best decisions for the best outcome and
I don’t think they I don’t want to say they don’t care I don’t think ultimately
there’s a consequence for them if I you eyes don’t work they’re not reporting
those the way that they’re reporting IVF so they have a vested financial and
professional reputation interest in a reputational interest in the outcome of
IBS which is why she told me how you get me pregnant right away with the donor
egg and that helps her status right versus struggling with my old eggs as
she called them bags birds are struggling with the bad eggs
and not getting it and to count those as IVF attempt going
against their reputational reporting of their idea and potentially losing status
as a center of excellence I they become a center of excellence by maintaining a
certain level of success rate although we’re in now is also a center of
excellence that’s a requirement for my insurance so six of one half a dozen of
the other I’m okay there okay that was my
experience and yeah that was a few many questions let me know down below I tried
to include everything I could I think I covered all of my notes in case I didn’t
say it the first exam I was there they did my a mhm it’s I will really on
hormone which is basically to tell you like what your egg reserve is my father
was similar stimulating hormone my yesterday eat you before they also
tested my HCG which I still had HCG in my system because I just had me miss
character was not it was just out of five I think or it might have been out
of four and so but they were sure that by the time of
my period starting it would be gone it actually wasn’t because they did the
cycle day 3 blood work and then they said oh by the end of the cycle your HCG
should be gone we didn’t read text it in so by the time the next cycle started
indefinitely was gone yeah and the AMH took about 30 days to
get that number back which I don’t know if that’s average or not but I think not
knowing what my egg reserve was yet and the doctor telling me straight away that
I had that eggs and I need our eggs before the bloodwork came back was a
little off-putting as well I think if you’re gonna make that sort of strong
recommendation and you have to have data to back it up data specific to me not
data specific to the rest of the population because there are other
people who have had idea for therefore other infertility reasons my only issue
is I can tell was the age at that point but it didn’t necessarily count me out
because then why did they treat me at all you can’t have it both ways right
either my eggs are so bad and the only thing is donor eggs and you’re not going
to treat me because you know that’s or there’s a possibility that these eggs
will work so yeah alright that was my experience with
Arman I went there from May of 2017 until March of 2018 and it is what it is I’m glad to have gone
early that’s all I will talk to you later bye baby huh steam to make the rainbow in my mind when I
think sometimes I wanna spend some time

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