Getting the First Kiss: Building and Dancing with Sexual Tension

Getting the First Kiss: Building and Dancing with Sexual Tension


Let’s talk about getting that first kiss in a bar or on a date. And there’s a simple, well, maybe simple process to this
and it comes with understanding how to dance. I’m not talking about how to dance physically.
I’m talking about dance emotionally. When you can actually look in somebody’s eyes
and if you can hold that eye contact and you relax in your body, you’re going to
start to feel this tension between you and another person. Especially the beautiful woman you’re looking at. And if you’re really getting good with
women, you should start to be able to enjoy that tension. You’ll want to be able to relax into it and enjoy it. Let yourself feel it. And that tension is like surfing. When you’re surfing on a surfboard, you’ve got to
be able to feel the movement of the wave. And how it’s moving and you’ve got to
adjust to it any given moment: left, right, up, down, – however
you’ve got to move to get that board, to get yourself from wiping out. It’s true in almost any sport if you’re riding
motocross, you’ve got to feel the bike. If you’re jumping out of a plane and you’re surfing the air, you can fly it through the air like superman
by just adjusting your body, and floating on the wind. Well this tension is in everything. It’s also in communication. If you’re doing standup comedy, you’re going to
feel the tension with the audience or public speaking, you’re going to feel that tension and you’ve
got to bounce off and relate to it. Well, when you’re talking to a girl, it’s the same thing. As you’re talking to her, you’re going to feel that
tension building between you two. Your job is to just step into it a little bit and hold it. And watch her. She might start to get more nervous, she might start
to giggle, she might start to look away. Your job is to relax into it. And the more you relax into it, and just wait and be
patient and give her some space without letting your head roll and think a lot,
the more she’s going to get relaxed. It might take a few seconds, 30 seconds, a minute,
and she’s going to start to get more relaxed. It might take a few minutes, and you continue
to enjoy the moment with her, talk about little things, because really the tension’s doing all the work. And as you step in again, getting closer, pushing a
little further, she’s going to start to enjoy it more and more. She’s going to get more turned on. And she may get more nervous again and your job again
is to sit and stop right at that point like a train on track and just relax for a little bit, let her get comfortable
in it and then you move forward again. Now you may find that some girl loves tension. And you start to push it and all she does is get –
look at you deeper, get more attracted, more turned on, and in that case, you’re doing really well. And you’ve got to realize that some girls, might
even be a little better at this than you. And your job is to start to relax even more.
They’ll be the ones that teach you to be more solid as a man. And you keep moving forward. And if you keep
working this tension like taffy and you feel it. The eye contact between her, the touch between you and her, you’re not thinking a lot-you’re feeling it. Then what’s going to happen is you two are going to pull closer and closer
together and eventually you’re going to kiss. Just keep feeling that and you enjoy that moment. If you can’t feel this tension I’m talking about…if
you’re not aware of it, it’s like if you’re an athlete and you can’t feel the wave for some reason, you’re
just falling off the board all the time because you just can’t figure out what people are talking about, like when I used to be in my head a lot and
I couldn’t stay on time dancing, Because I couldn’t feel the rhythm, that’s something you can learn. That’s something you can pick up and I encourage you to get up to the next gathering and start learning about this concept. What it is to play and dance with tension, because
to a woman, that’s what it’s all about. That’s what she’s looking for when she goes on a date. That’s what she’s looking for when she meets you in a bar. That’s what she’s looking for before she’s going to let you kiss her.

6 comments

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  3. Perfect – Thats what all women are craving. That connection, the tension, the butterflies in the stomach. Learning to spark tension and relax into it is so empowering!

  4. How do you create tension for the kiss on the first date! I have some experience with this tension, but how'd you start? This really helpful!

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