HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS » The advice that changed my life

HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS » The advice that changed my life


Hey everyone, welcome back to Simple Happy Zen, let’s talk about dealing with stress today. I want to share the advice I got that changed my life, and the entire way I think about stress and deal with stress. And at the end of this video, I think it can do the same for you. I think we have all experienced feeling stressed at times in our life. Stress is very common and life can be overwhelming and stressful sometimes. And even though we would really want to, it’s not something that you can easily just switch off. You can’t really turn your inner stress meter down instantly or set your mind to relax mode just like that. It doesn’t work that way. And of course, there are things that we can do to either avoid stress or relieve stress whenever we experience it. And I talked about this on a channel before, but that’s not what this one is about today. A few years ago, I learned something from a Tibetan Buddhist monk called Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche that truly opened my eyes, and made me handle stress in a much better way. And I’m going to share with you what that was. So when it comes down to it, when we experience stress There are basically three ways that we can deal with it. And the first way is to let the stress overwhelm us We kind of get sucked into it and this happens very easily Our stress can kind of take over our thoughts, our emotions And can even cause anxiety or panic. Our thoughts keep racing, our mind won’t shut up, we lose perspective and it’s hard to see the big picture. Now this is very understandable, and it happens to the best of us. The stress kind of becomes our boss in this scenario. But it’s obviously not what we would want to happen The second way to deal with stress is kind of the opposite, where we notice that we are feeling stressed and then we start to fight it. We don’t want to feel stressed. So we try and force ourselves to become more relaxed. This can be by telling yourself to let it go or by telling yourself to stop being so stressed You can even try yoga or meditation Anything to stop the stress and fight it. You know it’s not healthy for you, and you want to stop. But what this actually tends to do, is make the stress a lot stronger. By making it into our enemy we give it a lot more power. Because we hate feeling stressed, we become more stressed. So basically we experience stress about experiencing stress And if this sounds familiar to you, then you’re not alone. But this option is also not very optimal So it might seem like there’s no better alternative, because following our stress isn’t good and fighting our stress also isn’t good. So how do we deal with it in a healthy way? Well, there’s a third option. Instead of treating our stress as our boss or as our enemy, we can try and treat it as our friend. And stay with me here, I know it may sound weird or silly, but it just means accepting it for being there, being aware of its existence, and then just letting it be. We’re not fighting it. We are not trying to force ourselves to become more relaxed But we are also not letting it control us and we don’t just follow along. By doing so, we take the sting out of our stress. It becomes much less powerful, because we don’t give it power. They also call this “avoiding the second arrow” and what they mean by this is, if we get hit by an arrow in our body, of course, it will hurt. But if we get hit by a second arrow in exactly that same place, it will hurt ten times more. And what they mean by this is, If we stress, of course, it doesn’t feel good. But if we stress about being stressed It makes it ten times more powerful. And this is not just in our mind It also has a huge impact on our physical health There have been studies that showed the relationship between stress and health issues and premature death. And they found that stress did lead to more health issues But only in those people that believed stress to be harmful for them So the belief that stress is harmful, that we need to fight it, is actually causing more problems for us. So what I do when I’m experiencing stress, is I try to make friends with it. I notice it’s there I become aware of its existence and I show myself some compassion. And every time I noticed that I am either following along or I’m fighting it, I become aware of it. And again, it loses power. And yes, I take extra good care of myself. I make sure I get a good night’s sleep I stay away from sugar and caffeine I cross a few things off my to-do list so I can have more rest. I might even meditate I do all these things to take care of myself But all the while I am not trying to force the stress to go away I just let it be there until it leaves on its own. And that has truly been life-changing for me. If you want to relieve stress right now Then watch this video where I share our 20 tips to relax when you’re feeling stressed It is an oldie but the tip still work very well Make sure to subscribe. Give the video a like. I’m sending you a big bear hug, and I’ll see you soon. Bye Bye

42 comments

  1. Thanks for watching! 🤗 In this video I teach you 4 deep breathing exercises that help with stress and anxiety: https://youtu.be/eYSF9bUaTpU

  2. Hey great video….I always try to exercise and feel relaxed ….it always works for me and gives me better mood…

  3. Love the video, as always Vera.
    The advice is spot on and very simple but so easy to forget or overlook in times of high stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, in today's world everyone wants an instant fix , or a sense of instant gratification. So we never learn how to actually deal with stress or accept it. So many people just medicate it away with medication, alcohol, and or other addictions and unhealthy coping skills.

    I'm getting off topic. Lol anyways.
    Thank you for being you and for sharing your advice and experiences .

    As I've mentioned before. I'm very happy to have found your channel.

  4. Happy Weekend Vera! Cheers from Canada. You are changing the way I view life – for the better… from your guided meditations, minimalism, mindfulness and more. thank you ♥️♥️♥️

  5. Love this tip! Let stress flow through, rather than letting yourself get caught up in it. Definitely going to try and practice this! Thanks, Vera! ❤️

  6. You explain this so well. I've been working so much with stress after my burn out and this is spot on. I was taught to 'ride the wave' and follow along with the emotion/stress. I really like the idea of becoming friend with your stress.

  7. Such important tips about stress, Vera. I, too, learned from Buddhist principles of “making friends” with your stress rather than fighting or succumbing to it. I like to sit down with a cup of white tea and deconstruct it to the point that it no longer impacts me. But it took me a while to get to this point of dealing with it. Nonetheless, I’m glad I learned to because I get sick every time I get stressed out, and I hated that.

  8. ✓ 😊 Following our stress or fighting our stress are both unhealthy.
    ✓ 😊 instead accept it.
    ✓ 😊stay away from sugar,
    Get good sleep,
    Tick off your to-do list.

  9. Perfect timing for your Video☺..Life has its way of sometimes getting to us.And we cant change what is happening around us but we can choose how we are to respond. Sometimes what we think is challenging to us is more about what can I learn from this.also taking a moment …for me to askGod/Jesus how to rest in his presence and give my problems over to him and ask him to give me his stregnth,wisdom, and guidance.Then act on it 1 step at a time☺

  10. As a traditional Zen Buddhist and writer, when I am feeling stressed, I will actually sit down and write a small paragraph about the stressful situation. By the time that I am done and can see the stress…now put into words…right before my eyes. The stress has now become trivial to me because I have transformed it. It has been written down, now it is in the past, I throw it away, the past is gone.

  11. I needed this advice! I’ve been a bit stressed out and I couldn’t deal with it that well. Thanks! I’ll remember that in the future.

  12. hi vera its a different but may b an effective tip coz may times we don't know how to deal with stress and try to follow same old remedies which don't work. thank you, I'll surely try it.

  13. Great advice! This can also work to prevent (minor) anxiety attacks; admitting that something (sometimes/usually) makes you feel panicked without fighting it. Like being in a secluded space. Of course there are other factors, but it really worked wonders for me.

  14. Hey Vera, thanks a lot for sharing this stress advice with us. "be friends with stress" no one told this. I loved how you explained thia new concept. I will definitely try it. Pls try to make two videos a week. Your videos are also "de-stressing' for me. 😊😄

  15. Hi Vera, glad to see you again. I've been decluttering to feel better. Stress does cause alot of problems. Sugar is a big trigger.🍬🍪🍩🍰 Thanks.👍🍃✌

  16. Hi Vera wonderful video and advice your way of dealing with stress might take a bit of practice as with any skill 😀 but is so worth the effort being aware of how you feel is half the battle something I have recently leant especially since watching your channel ❤️ I also use a similar method when I have broken sleep the more I try to get back to sleep the further away it gets ? But by relaxing and breathing and just letting it be I usually drift back to sleep a lot easier ? You have great wisdom 🧘‍♀️

  17. Making time for self care is so important. It does make a difference.

    I've also come to grips with the fact that I'm more sensitive to stress and that it runs me down quicker than others so I keep that to do list simple.

  18. Thank you so much for the information and the way you express yourself, added to your tips I also use CBD oils to relieve pain and deal with stress

  19. Hi!!! Thanks for sharing your personal and learning experience. I would like to know the name of the technique, please? Thanks!!!

  20. Loved all the advice, except the part about stress causing serious illness. For people who suffer from health anxiety, this is very triggering. Love your videos though, thank you. 💕

  21. it is true that it is better to accept and let it be, love ourselves and become more free and less heavily impacted by stress

  22. It sounds so simple in theory but I don't think I got it how to do it in practice. Could you give an example how you accept stress in particular situation? I think I can't see the difference between accepting stress and letting it overwhelm us…

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