How to tell your parents about your Depression and Anxiety

How to tell your parents about your Depression and Anxiety


If you are suffering from depression or anxiety
it can feel like you are all alone with no one to turn to for help. Telling someone how you feel can be difficult
and scary, and talking to your parents can be especially hard if you’re worried how they’ll react or if they believe what you are saying. It can be difficult, but telling your parents how you feel is a very important step in recovering from your illness. Your parents can show you the love and support you need to feel better and help you get access to professional help, so finding the courage to tell them is always the right thing to do. Before you start the conversation, try to work out exactly what you will say and write it down on a piece of paper. Think of specific examples of times you have felt sad or anxious, or when your mood has affected your ability to do well in school or with other areas of life. Having a good idea of what you are going to
say will help you stay calm and get your point across even if you get nervous. You might be worried your parents will get
angry or upset when you tell them about your illness. You may even imagine the conversation going
terrible and ending in an argument. These predictions and expectations are all
part of your illness because depression and anxiety cause you to see the world in a negative
way making you imagine the worst possible situations. Try not to listen to your worries. The truth is, your parents care about you
and want you to be happy. When you are ready to speak to your parents,
make sure you pick a good time. You want them to be in the right mood to listen. If they are stressed out, too tired or sleepy,
then wait until tomorrow. You should get straight to the point and say,
“I need to talk to you” Explain that you have been feeling sad or anxious for a long time and you are worried that there might be something wrong with you. Try to give them as much information as possible. Tell them what you have been feeling, and
for how long. Don’t worry about explaining everything
perfectly, or if you can’t find the right words. Your parents don’t need to understand
exactly what you are going through. They just need to hear and know that you want
help. If you’ve been having suicidal thoughts or considered ending your life, you need to tell your parents. If you think your parents won’t understand
what “depression” or “anxiety” are then start by explaining that you feel very
sad or anxious all the time and you think it isn’t normal. To help them understand, you could show them
descriptions of your illness from trusted sources like the APA, NHS or whatever is available
for the country you live in. Try to help them understand that depression
and anxiety are more than just being in a bad mood or feeling down. They are real illnesses caused by changes
in the brain that you can’t fix simply by “getting over it”. Once you explain what you are going through,
your parents will probably be very concerned and will want to know what they can do to
help. Explain that just having their support will
mean a lot to you, but you would also like to go to a doctor and get professional help. Your parents will probably believe what you
are telling them and they’ll want to help you, but it’s also possible they’ll need some convincing. They may try to tell you that you shouldn’t
be feeling these things. That you’re just a kid and you should stop
over-reacting. Your reply should be “I KNOW I shouldn’t
be feeling like this. It isn’t normal to be feeling this way all
the time. That’s how I know I need help.” If they don’t believe how you are feeling
and see it as normal part of puberty, try explaining that you feel sad or worried ALL THE TIME. While your friends and other people your age
have ups and downs, you only have downs. Sometimes, it can take a while for what you
are saying to really get through to your parents. They really care about you but it’s easier
to think that you’re just going through a bad phase than to admit you need professional help. Don’t be discouraged. Your feelings are important even if your parents
don’t understand them right away. If starting a conversation is too difficult
or if you can’t find the right words to say, writing a letter, email or message to your parents is a great way to get the conversation started. If speaking to your parents is difficult,
you could try talking to another adult who could help you. A school teacher, counselor, religious leader, youth worker or close adult could offer you valuable advice, put you in touch with a doctor
and even speak to your parents for you. If you are really having trouble you could
wait until your next regular doctor’s visit or when you’re ill with a cold, and then talk
to them about your depression or anxiety while you are there. Keep talking to your parents and try getting
them to understand what you are experiencing. Your feelings and well-being are important! So don’t give up until you make progress. If you feel afraid or discouraged by what
they say, try to focus on how much better life will be when they finally understand
and are able to help you. Telling your parents about your mental health
issues is always scary, but in the end, it will be worth it. We’ve put links to great resources for mental health in the description so please check that out. We also have professional psychologists answering in the comments, so please leave a comment if you have any questions at all or if you have advice for other’s who struggle with this issue. If you liked this video, please click that like button below and don’t forget to subscribe to our channel for more helpful explainers. Thank you for watching! 🙂

100 comments

  1. I don't know if people are still checking this video.
    I tried to tell my mom about it but she said that it's normal, I know it's not normal and I tried to tell her again and she said the same thing, after that I tried to explain that it's not normal and her reply was:"it's okay that's normal because of puberty and depression is not real"
    The biggest problem is I live in an Arabic country and there's almost 0% knowledge about depression in the schools and if I told anyone they will say the same thing as my mom said so I think I'll go back to my room close the door, curtains and lights and put on my headphones and listen to some music while crying and remembering what happened to me in the past and how i usually got bullied and told no one and remember how my decisions made me lose a lot of friends and people who I loved….
    I hope anybody help ??
    yes I'm crying while writing this comment?

  2. The problem is… My mam has Depression too, and I thought that would mean she'd try help me straight away. Heh.. When I told her I was depressed she started saying I have no idea what it's like and that internet are giving me these ideas. Why can't she understand?

  3. I’ve been feeling like this for a month or so now but I can’t tell my family because I’m scared to

  4. am I depressed if I am 12 and always think I don't deserve to live or is that just puberty? My parent are Egyptian and they think it's impossible for a child or a teen to have depression. Please hear me and help me

  5. What if your parents are Hispanic and you’re religious leaders are your family and your really scared I’m 11and super scared I always go to my dog

  6. I want to tell my foster parents (yes, I'm in care) but the problem is that they don't understand depression or anxiety. I have talked to them before about mental illness and tried to explain it but they still don't believe in it. When I have tried to approach the subject before, they have just said that I have no reason to be depressed or have anxiety, so I didn't bother.
    At some points over the last couple of years, it has gotten really bad to the point I started self-harming, but I still didn't tell them because I was scared of what they would say – I was and still am worried that they are going to judge me.
    Lately I feel like its getting bad again and I want to tell them before it gets to that point again, but I'm terrified of how they're going to react. Instead of talking to them, I'm thinking that I might wright a letter and leave it for them to read when I'm at school or out with friends but I still don't know what to say. But I know that I need to and that I need to get help.
    Anyone got any advice? It would be really appreciated.

  7. I went away for summer for a month and I'm going home in a week I have been trying to tell my mom about my depression since I discovered I had it which was last year I was scared when she had asked me and a few days later my step dad was angry saying I have a perfect life so I've always been scared to even say it and when I came to my aunt's for the summer I've been trying to work myself up to tell them I'm still not ready I'm so scared but I already told my mom I have to tell her something important

  8. its not easy. i want to get help, but talking to my parents seems so hard especially when they're divorced. you have to say it twice. and if your mom is anything like mine, she'll ask "where is this coming from" or "you're making this up" or "you're overreacting" which makes it even harder.

  9. I want to tell my mom but she went back to college. My dad is the reason. I think. And if I tell him he will just call me a baby. And say you just want attention.

  10. I've showed my parents how I felt at school. I've been struggling with mental illness since 2004.

  11. How do I tell my parents about intrusive thoughts, thinking I'm fat, wanting to kill myself, thinking I'm ugly, thinking my friends are fake, and wanting nobody to look at you…
    Edit: Oh! And lying to my self…

  12. I don’t know what to do. My mum just talks about how she’s depressed and that she can’t deal with it anymore. I don’t know how to tell my parents. The last time I told her that I didn’t want to live she thought I was an attention seeker?

  13. Tried it, didn't go well. nded up with my mom telling me that I was pretending, or when I demanded that she stopped treating my borther as if he were more important, she said that she didn't want to heal me just for my brother to fall into depression. And I wasn't an "OMG, I'm so sad and life sucks" case, I was an "OMG, I feel empty inside and meaningless and hopeless and I want to f***ing disappear of the face of Earth because I am the worste person in the world" case. Any tips?

  14. My mom has depression and sometimes I steal her pills without her noticing. I'm not brave enough to tell her or even have the confidence to do it. However, I'll try telling my guitar teacher, he's like a friend to me and has also had depression because of a breakup. Sometimes in class he notices something off with me and tells me if I'm alright. I lie and tell him I am. I need his help but when I try to tell him, words won't come out. Help

  15. Im too scared to talk to my mum or even write a message I know she wouldn't understand. Ive told myself im gonna tell her for a Long time but im just too scared and as soon as I bring myself to it I just can't do it and change the subject.

  16. I’m 11 and I have depression, I really don’t wanna tell my parents because my dad doesn’t care about me and my mom is a strong catholic and idk if she’ll believe me or be mad at me..I think I have bad depression about that too. Do you have any advice?

  17. What if your parents are the best reason your depressed.
    You don't know I don't have the courage.
    They won't support me in anyway.
    They don't let me be my self.
    I really want help,and I'm only 11 too…..
    What do you expect now?
    Nowadays I ask my bff for help

  18. I am watching these things just so i can decipher if my child would be depressed in the future so i can help him or her.

  19. I told my mom how I feel for 2 years and she said it’s probably you’re age I felt sad some days too when I was 14 and now I’m lonely anyway

  20. Today I told my sister about my depression and I was shaking. It went so well and I couldn’t believe it! Tomorrow she is going to help me tell my parents. I’m so thankful for her, we haven’t been that close but she really helped me today. I’m so happy that I have someone like her to help me through this, no matter how my parents react. I know it’s scary but it will feel so much better when they know about it. You guys are awesome and deserve all the happiness and help in the world!! Stay alive, frens. ❤️

  21. My sis has depression and she asked our dad WHATS depression like?
    Our dad said why
    Than my sis said
    Oh no reason.. and I heared her crying and sniffing..

  22. Me: I have depression.

    My mum: IT’S BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN PHONE

    (This didn’t actually happen, it probably would of if I told her. I didn’t tell her. I didn’t want to tell the people who gave me life that I don’t want it anymore.)

  23. I told mom that i have social anxiety but she just laugh. She thought i was joking?? it seems like no one can help me not even my family??

  24. Only way is to start giving hints. But make sure to keep it slow because too quick, you just won't be able to do it

  25. I'm having I difficult time… I used to just have minor depression that started when my two best friends started bullying me. It wasn't too bad, and I got over it. Later that year, my dog got really sick, and all of the feelings of depression came back. When he died, I started seeing the world in a different way. I used to be optimistic, but I'm just not the same. I've had anxiety for a bit of time. One night, my brother and I were really tired and he said something that made me want to die. The next day, I felt better. I didn't have suicidal thoughts for a very long time. Then I developed Misophonia, a disorder that makes you hate certain sounds. My depression has just gotten worse, and now I have constant suicidal thoughts. My parents don't know about any of this, or any of my friends. I did tell people on an online site, but that site banned me for talking about my depression. That site was my only way of communicating how I really feel, and now that's gone. Life's just gotten harder, and I keep on thinking it'll get better, and I was doing a little better, then my appendix ruptured. As a 12(then 11) year old, I didn't understand that it could have killed me. Now I just kinda wished it did. I've started just hating myself and it doesn't stop. Does anyone have any advice?

  26. I’m scared to tell my mom because I have to tell her by texting her cuz she doesn’t live with me she’s somewhere else in Washington I also don’t know if I’m depression but I’ve been sad overeating not sleeping and I’ve cut a few times….

  27. You dont need to tell to anyone if you dont feel like it and want to shake it off by yourself. Or you can to everyone but then dont expect people will understand (no one feels what you feel). Your parents will try to understand and 95% of normal parents will be supportive. If you are kid you should say that to them absolutely and why would you hold back in first place…just say it and try to find solution with them. First time i got depresed i didnt know it is depresion, i just couldnt go to my classes at collage, i didnt pass some exams directly to havimg depresion witch i didmt know i had…it got better by itself abd after 3-6 months i was ok. But i had failed some important exams, it had its cost

    I dont like to say "i cant this or that" or "i am feeling bad"…to anyone but especialy to my parents. I mostly get better just by having stupid funny talk with my friends…teling someone i feel down doesnt work for me, it even gets worse couse it means i acknowladge i feel bad and then i go into this circle (feeling bad-thinking how i feel bad-again feeling even worse-thinking about it….). But thats just me, i keep it inside (you better dont couse maybe its real clinical depresion and may last for long)

    No one can change my life, i need to do it my self and things will get better. I must! rethink about all in my life couse i dont know what exactly couses depresion. Clinical depresion is realy hard thing, it needs drugs to get better…it hit me hard about 2 weeks ago. I just couldnt get up to work even i like my job

    I got antidepresants for the first time about 3 days ago, thats why i look this video. I also bought magnesium, zinc, calcium, omega 3 fats, neurobion B (vitamin)…and got also ginko (my memory started to fell couse my depresion). I hope it all helps at least a bit

    Its strange couse my lifestyle is healty still depresion hit me from nowhere. I dont know the source and what exactly bothers me. Or is it just chemical imbalance. Antidepresants will start to hit in about a week so i hope i will get more energy and start feeling ok. When i look all videos about depresion i in fact do all the things from psychological stand (like good hygene, social life, physical activity etc.) but still it got me. I had hard life so probably i burned out after all…maybe some traumas or subconcius unsolved problems

    Hmm i think i can get it better by myself…im just that kind of person. But if you are feeling like you should tell someone about that just go for it…its not a big deal. Your parents are grown up adults who have much more experience in life than you think, and are lot more supportive then you feel it in everyday life

  28. ?
    2019
    I
    Feel
    Alone…?
    I have no sleep what so ever I've been having sleep problems all the time
    I wish I could tell someone but I don't trust no one talking to someone doesn't really help. .
    You can't solve depression. It's stuck with me.
    I don't trust my family
    I don't trust no one
    I hate everyone. Exept "her " my bff C.?
    I talk about my problems with her she told me hers . And I known her for 5 years it's gonna be 6 years soon
    She's my happiness my friends are my happiness my eyes filled with delight but.? .back at home I was torn apart emotionally, and physically at a very young age ☺ but I always but I smile on my face.
    I always pretend to be okay!? But. .deep inside I'm a mess ?
    I use to like pink stuff girly stuff ?ew
    I never complained what my parents chose for me .! I always wanted to wear what I wanted to wear!

    RELIGION. YEAH I GOTTA WEAR THIS AND THAT WEAR DA SCARF ON YOUR HEAD. ALWAYS KEEP A SMILE ON your face… pray to! The person who. ..runs Hevean and hell…

    PARENTS: WHY CAN'T YOU GET BETTER GRADES? !
    WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE YOUR COUSINS! !? you gotta be that perfect Muslim!

    Well, I'm not perfect. .
    I've been sad all my life I don't know where the old me went. .I'm lost
    I don't even know who I am even yet.. yeah I hide secrets that I don't believe in the man who runs "heaven "!?

    COUSINS?? : HAHA
    DUMB, WERIDO, EMO, GOTHIC, FREAK, DEPRESSED, IDIOT, LONER,LLOSER

    Cousin?: where did the real you go?
    You use to like being with me all the time but now! your just on your tablet. Sitting their telling me to go away!
    Why can't you see I'm tryna help! Ya..! ?
    Stop being so b itchy!
    You depressed loser. ..

    Yeah I ..
    Have no one …
    This is my fate. . I'll end up in "HELL"??
    I'll be burnt alive? ha..I know you guys like it when I suffer. .stop being nice sometimes. ..! Just stop! Just stop pretending like nothings wrong! Yeah you guys make me really angry! Yeah I sent you a death note! I wasn't gonna kill you, you crazy? ! I said I f i wasnt scared to pick up a knife. ..to cut myself not too kill you. .?

    Yeah I guess I'm a little weird
    Yeah back in primary I was so emotional like I couldn't control all my anxiety. .
    Other children. . Thought i was a WERIDO!
    Yeah I act like I don't know but I know you laugh at me behind my back..
    Yeah my cousin already told me that
    Yeah he says to get better friends yeah he tells I'm a loser he makes me feel worthless Everyone makes me feel. .
    Not alright. ..

    I wish I had a better family the one who were nice who loved me no matter what!
    Who aren't RELIGIOUS or HOMERPHOBIC People. .
    Who don't hurt me emotional and physically…
    BUT THAT'S MY IMAGINATION! ?
    FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK MY LIFE! FUCK everyone! I WISH I DIDN'T EXIST!

    Yeah I try my best. ..but I'm not the best
    I try all the time but but I fail
    I wish I was that perfect daughter you wanted but NO! ?
    Why would you abuse me? At very young age
    Yeah your stupid family has anger issues I get it!
    But that's JUST A funking Excuse. .
    I wish I had a better life..
    Yeah I calm myself down by making YouTube videos secretly xx

    I said all my feelings out here but in reality it doesn't do anythiny

    And tonight
    I'm crying here written all of my problems. .
    Here
    And :/ bye.
    ??
    ?

    KILL ME ALREADY! Yeah I don't deserve to live yeah I'm selfish I'm a sinner! ?
    BEING MUSLIM IS SHIT!

  29. i dont wanna make my mom feel like she is a bad mom, she just doesnt really know what has happend thru my life bcuz ive never told her before

  30. I dont know how to tell im deppressed beacuse i liked a girl and she liked me two .one day i got her number and i texted that i loved her but then she did not answer so when i got back to school she ignoard me every day she told me that she hates me i still try to text her but i think she blockd me on her phon docter please help meeeee i watch miraculas ladybug because its mostly about love thats something i cant get .my life has no meaning i cant smile no more i feel nothing call me somthing mean i wont even get mad help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  31. Hi, I told my mom about me being sad all the time and she just said it was hormones. But, I know that it isn’t. When I went to the doctor for a yearly checkup I told him about it. He said I should see a therapist. The therapist then called my mom, but she hasn’t said anything about it for weeks. What should I do?

  32. But i have been telling them im not happy i cry al the time and they just seemed to be unfazed one time i got so mad i punched the wall in pure anger bc they won't believe me

  33. I'm scared to tell my mom, she has three children, works at home, has 3 seperate schools to have to have me and my siblings at, has to deal with my brother's autism and my ADHD so I'd I told her I have depression AND anxiety that'd be like another 100 bucks on medication, so… Well sh-

    Edit: I will probably be like I have depression cause saying I have anxiety TOO would be too much

  34. I've been struggling to tell my parents with my suicidal thoughts and my cutting problems……I want to text them that when I grow older and move out of the house…

    My older brother started cutting one time and my mom and dad yelled at him. It scared me. I even lied to my diabetes doctor about me being sad…..

  35. I said it to my mom..
    next thing she said..
    "your gonna make me have a heart attack and die.."
    then i felt really heart broken..

  36. the words doesn’t want to come out and when it comes out, they always compare me with what they’ve been through in their life… then i just stay quite and try to get it my by myself

  37. I’ve kept it hidden for so long. I’m not saying that I have depression bc it hasn’t been confirmed but..
    I felt depressed for 2 years and then it got worse bc I started.. um.. you know? Cutting..and it’s been going on for 1yr 1/2. It’s gotten worse each day and I don’t know what to do since I’ve developed some trust issues.

    I really don’t know what to do!! Or what they will think of me! I really don’t wanna hurt them!? There’s also a huge chance that they will think I’m going through a phase bc I’m about to turn 12….

  38. I tried to talk to my mom about my anxiety. I just couldn't take it anymore, I thought telling her was the right thing to do.

    The problem is, she won't take me seriously. She was only worried when I said I couldn't breathe when I was having a panic attack. She would make fun of it, shout sarcastically "THE YOUNGEST PERSON WITH ANXIETY!" and she would point at me.

    When I would tell her I was having a panic attack, she would laugh and go "Oh, so what? That's nothing. You're just making a fuss"

    The first time I told her, she was understanding and told me we were going to the doctor the next day. The next day comes and she didn't do anything. When I brought it up, she became angry. Saying stuff like "You don't need that! JUST STOP OVERREACTING!"

    She just keeps giving me advice that doesn't help me whatsoever. I don't know what to do, my anxiety is getting worse and Its affecting my grades.

    Please, I really need advice.
    If you need it, I'm 13.

  39. I had a breakdown in front of my mom and she said everything was going to be fine and she wouldn’t tell anyone. The other day I found her joking about it to the rest of my family

  40. I'm crying. I understand what to do, and my family is always really supportive of everything. But they think nothing is wrong with me. I don't know what to do.

  41. I sometimes try to tell them but I end up crying and they get angry at me for not saying. They think I’m crying to get attention and won’t believe anything is wrong until I tell them.

  42. I know it’s hard to get the words out but if you can talk to a sibling they can help you work up the courage to talk to your parents

  43. (OUT OF ROLE)

    Okay so I just love how everyone in the comments are helping the people who are too scared, or something like that.
    That's the helping hand someone needs.
    I just wanted to say this. Cause I'm to scared to tell my parents. But I think I got the confidince now so thx (oh and thx for the tips minute video)

  44. killing yourself wont give you peace you will still be sent to hell a place full of dark and cruel beings its better you tell your parents what ever happened their their for you

  45. I really want to tell my dad i have anxiety, stress and panic attacks but I feel like he will misunderstand me. He criticises me every day for something little I did wrong. I am scared and I think he is the cause for my sickness. But not only him, I also changed schools and I felt kinda lonely at first. When I made new friends, I invited my other friends to a party and most of them ignored me exept me BFF and another girl. I felt really depressed. My panic attacks started this year and I hate them. I just found out one of my friends has got 1 stage depression or something but she does not want to tell her parents. She sais she will be free when she turns 18. I want to tell my dad. I grew up sensitive and paranoyed. I had some serious trust issues. Even tho I am very social. So please help me.?

  46. I know this video is to help others but.. I feel as if my parents will do so much more like.. Moving me to another school or even rub it off trying not to think there own daughter is facing some depression.. but me myself is also thinking if I really am depressed or is it just a phase.

  47. Me; Guys.. I think I have depression..

    Everyone: Same.

    (Like srsly tho, there explanations are sort of rediculous, they only want to relate to you. They don't even want to here my story they'll just go on and on about there side of the story and forget there talking to you)

    (Tbh I rlly hate when people misuse the meaning of depression, especially when you have it and someone is making a joke out of it.)

    (anyone else feel the same)

  48. Me: I'm depressed..

    Family:She just wants attention

    Me: I have problems and disorders..

    Family: Stop lying

    Me: I cut myself..

    Family: Stop overreacting! You lying attention seeker.

    My Thoughts: Suicide…

    Me: I'm suicid-

    Me: They'll just say I'm overreacting or just want attention…

    Family: Why do you always look sad? How come you don't talk? Why don't you come out of your room?

    Me: Because Depression and Anxiety doesn't let me do all that…

    Not even my own family understands me…

  49. It worked!
    My dad informed me the medication i take can make me depressed, and he told me to think of my family, my mind went straight to the day he dies ;(
    Atleast i feel a bit better

  50. Last time I tried and I lied how I was depressed I am depressed because of how I look and I lost all my friends and my crush and what people think and I have no one to help

  51. I tried telling my parents “Dad” to be correct I’ve told him and at first he thought I was just feeling bad ( I have a history of being upset for long periods of time) he just got even more mad as I continued to tell him it started as lecturing then yelling, screaming and soon he started getting so mad that he gad to leave the house… I’ve given up. I don’t care anymore… I stopped Caring a while ago I tried to tell him, it’s not my fault he never listens… and it’s not my fault when I do something rash, and my mom has moved out so o don’t have lotta time with her, so I want to make it fun! And I have had a small history of hurting myself ( hair pulling ) and they going nothing bothering about it? I think they think it’s just for attention that’s pretty much what they think everything is for example I had been asking to see a doctor for my foot..I’d constantly ask if I could get it checked out! They’d say
    “No you’re fine, walk it off and don’t complain” months later I couldn’t bare it and they took me too a doctor they said I had a pretty bad stress fracture in my 5th metatarsal and it wouldn’t have been nearly as bad if they had taken me earlier
    It’s just stuff like that, that keeps me down

  52. Its just funny how my Sister got my parents attention while Im the one who needs that
    But I Understand My Older Sister Is Depressed too
    She is an open person while Im Not
    I understand……

  53. So, I went to an emergency mental health service and talked to a doctor about my issues. When i told my parents where I was, they started blaming themselves and my mum basically imploded. I know that they want to help me but if they don't stop blaming themselves they won't understand at all what's going on. How do I make them accept that they are not the cause of my problems? My mum was so hurt by my action of going to a doctor first and she now thinks i don't trust her and she's the worst mom in the universe.

  54. Can I just send my parent this video? I don’t like speaking to them face to face when it comes to this kind of thing… please help I’ve have anxiety for years but I’ve always been so scared to tell them, me thinking that the will take it the wrong way…. they never believe anything I say… I just need help ???

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