Key & Peele – Sex with Black Guys


– I WANT TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON
WITH THE HUGE WOMAN, AND I WANT TO KNOW
WHAT THE DEAL IS WITH THE RED WITCH LADY.
– YES. YES.
YES. – [laughs]
I WOULD TOO. – YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING?
– [laughing] – STRAIGHT OUT. – NO, BUT I MEAN, LIKE,
HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU–HAVE YOU EVER
SLEPT WITH A BLACK GUY? – NO, BUT I REALLY WANT TO. [laughs]
– ME TOO! APPARENTLY, IT IS, LIKE, A WHOLE OTHER THING
THAN SLEEPING WITH WHITE MEN. – OH, NO, NO. I HEARD THEY’RE
SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, WAY BETTER AT IT
OR SOMETHING. – YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I HEARD THAT TOO. I WONDER IF IT’S
‘CAUSE THEY HAVE, LIKE–LIKE, BETTER RHYTHM,
YOU KNOW? – RIGHT, ‘CAUSE
THEY’RE REALLY GOOD DANCERS. – I MEAN, APPARENTLY,
THEY HAVE, LIKE, BIGGER– – OH, WAY BIGGER PENISES, RIGHT?
[laughs] – YEAH. I GUESS THAT’S
BECAUSE OF AFRICA? – YEAH, LIKE,
I FEEL LIKE THEY’RE JUST– THEY’RE, LIKE, REALLY
WITH YOU IN THE MOMENT. – HMM. – LIKE, IF THEY’RE GONNA
BE WITH YOU, THEY’RE IN THE HERE AND NOW. – EXACTLY. EXACTLY. BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT
THEY BASICALLY HAVE NO FUTURE. – [laughs]
I KNOW. – THINK ABOUT IT.
– IT’S SO SAD. – THINK ABOUT IT!
[laughs] – I DO FEEL LIKE THEY TREAT
THEIR WOMEN WITH JUST, LIKE, A LITTLE BIT
MORE COMPASSION, THOUGH. – YEAH,
LIKE, RESPECT AND STUFF. OH, BECAUSE THEIR DADS
WERE NEVER AROUND! – OH, RIGHT, AND THEY ALSO HAVE
A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HANDS ‘CAUSE EVEN IF THEY HAVE KIDS,
THEY NEVER GO VISIT THEM. – OH, PLEASE. TOTALLY.
BABY DADDY? THAT’S A THING.
– OH. THAT’S IN THE DICTIONARY NOW
BECAUSE OF BLACK PEOPLE. – SEE?
SER-I-OU-SLY. APPARENTLY, BLACK GUYS JUST KNOW
HOW TO PLEASE WHITE WOMEN. RIGHT? JUST, LIKE,
WAY MORE THAN WHITE MEN. – OH, WELL, IT’S PROBABLY
IN THEIR BLOOD ‘CAUSE THEY’RE USED
TO PLEASING THEIR WHITE MASTERS. – WHAAAT? – OKAY. OKAY.
– YEAH! LAW OF THE JUNGLE, RIGHT?
– [laughs] TOTALLY. – I AM SO DESPERATE
TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF. [laughter]
– ME TOO. – RIGHT? – OKAY, UM, I’M GONNA
GO TO THE BATHROOM… – OKAY. – AND I SWEAR TO YOU, IF THERE IS A BLACK GUY
BACK THERE, I’M GONNA BLOW HIM. [laughter]
– GET IT! – SO, UNRELATED, I NOW
HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, UH, BECAUSE I’VE BEEN
DRINKING COFFEE ALL DAY. SO I WILL BE BACK
IN A LITTLE WHILE. – WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET–LET ME GO FIRST. I’LL BE ABOUT 30 SECONDS. – OOH, OW.
I HIT MY PENIS THERE. – I’M SORRY.
I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY, SIR.

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