Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored


– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT
TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs]
JEEZ. – WHAT?
YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE.
TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT?
PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN’S BEEN TEXTING ME. “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” [phone chimes] – “SORRY, DUDE,
MISSED YOUR TEXTS. “I ASSUMED WE’D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER.
I DON’T CARE.” “WHATEVER. I DON’T CARE”? WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM? “DO YOU EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT?” – “DO YOU EVEN WANT
TO HANG OUT?” OH, THAT’S CONSIDERATE. “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER.” – “LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER”? FUCK THIS GUY. JESUS, “YOU…” – “ARE FUCKING PRICELESS.” AWW.
“YOU’RE THE…” – “ONE WHO’S FUCKING PRICELESS”? THIS M– THIS MOTHERFUCKER HERE. OH, HE WANTS TO–
OKAY, MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
OKAY. “YOU WANT TO GO…” – “RIGHT NOW?” HMM. GUESS I COULD DO THAT. [clears throat] “OKAY…” – “OKAY, LET’S GO”? HE SAID OKA–
“OKAY, LET’S GO”? ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT?
“YOU WANT TO REALLY…” – “DO THIS NOW?”
KEEGAN, YOU NUT. YOU’RE NOT PUTTING ME OUT. – “FUCK YEAH, LET’S DO IT”? OH, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! – “FIRST ROUND’S MINE.” – OH, NO!
OH, NO! THERE AIN’T GONNA BE
NO ROUNDS, ASSHOLE! IT’S GONNA BE
A FUCKING STREET FIGHT! THIS SON OF A– – ♪ ‘CAUSE TONIGHT WE GONNA
PARTY AND THE PARTY DON’T STOP ♪ – YOU! – BUDDY! LIKE I SAID, FIRST ROUND’S MINE. A BEER AND A GIMLET
FOR MY PARTNER RIGHT– WHAT’S THAT? – UH, I-I GOT YOU
A BASEBALL BAT WITH NAILS IN IT. – FOR MY POST-APOCALYPTIC
JACKIE ROBINSON COSTUME. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

100 comments

  1. Haaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh!!¡¡¡ This is me! Someone told them I did this!!😂😂😂😂😂💀

  2. This is horribly, horribly familiar to me. My girlfriend and I would get into the stupidest arguments over misreading the tone of texts. So true.

  3. Does anyone else prefer txt over talk? Sometimes in conversations you forget what you want to say. You can txt it… plus its documented.😀

  4. Pizza slices🍕 all over Jordan's shirt. Nobody with pizza slices all over their shirt is going to cause any problems!😂

  5. I love this video because I've done the very same thing. I realized how dumb I was reading into simple texts. I know I've texted when mad, but because I was careful in how I phrased my texts that reading them later, the other person would not have known I was mad. In hindsight I'm glad they came out that way. I won't read into texts anymore (use emojis). I also won't read into the time it takes someone to return texts. There are a lot of reasons why someone doesn't reply right away. It's difficult because so much of our communication is body language. When you remove that (and voice tone), it causes misunderstandings.

  6. This reminds me of my ex…I would have to re-read my texts to make sure I didn't trigger her in any way, any small comma or period missing, she would create stories inside her head about me cheating

  7. I just answer in 2 or 3 sentences if possible, Hate Text Wars …Simply amazing how some can type that Shhhh as accurate as a Court stenographer , Dam

  8. Although they haven't been in our lives for that long, I genuinely feel that Key & Peele deserve a lifetime achievement award for their contribution to Comedy and Entertainment.

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