– We would for sure get
pregnant if i listened to this idiot! – Fish intestines! (whoosh, squeak) – Birth control, yay. – Like, how Egyptians used to (beep)? – These are just going
to be terrible things that cause lots of bodily harm to people. – Ancient Egypt. Either, eating a mixture
of prunes and clay within 24 hours would prevent pregnancy. – Or, inserting a mixture
of crocodile poop, honey, and sodium
carbonate into the vagina, or eating the mixture, was
used for contraception. – That’s how you get a UTI. – So you made one of these up? That means you’re super (beep) up. – Prunes and clay, I mean… – That just sounds like a diet to me. – Prunes and clay. – Crocodile poop. – Clay.
– Croc poop. – I need one more second, cuz both of these are stupid, so..
– Cuz you’re a man? – [Both] Crocodile poop. – I’m gonna do the first
one, eating prunes and clay. – I’m going with croc (beep) (bell chimes) – (laughs) You eat that whole chunk? – It wasn’t just poop, you had to, like, brew the poop, which means
you’re in the kitchen like, mixing it up, making
your little poop stew. So you can have some safe, non-baby sex. – Methods of birth
control in ancient China. – Tying the testicles of
a donkey to one’s ankle was thought to be an
effective contraceptive. – What, for the donkey? – And drinking a mixture
of lead and mercury was a form of contraception
in ancient China. – Oh my god. – I know Chinese people
wouldn’t just drink lead and mercury, cuz that would just kill you?
– Kill you? – I refuse to believe
that people were ever dumb enough to think that wearing nutsacks around their ankles
would accomplish anything. – I know that’s so dumb, but
that sounds like, kind of like a Chinese superstitious thing. I don’t know, what do I
know, I’m only Chinese. – I watch a lot ancient China dramas and they drink a lot of stuff, so, (laughs) – [Both] Donkey. – [Both] Drinking. – Mercury and lead. (bell chimes) – No! – Chemicals, it’s all about the chemicals. – You just kill yourself. Some people would rather
die than have a baby. I mean, I get it. – 1800s. Condoms were commonly made
of fish intestines, or… – Number two, condoms were commonly made of the bladder of a young ram. Um… – What’s wrong with an old ram? – Ram bladder seems like,
firmer than a fish intestine. – Rams have a lot of other uses where you really don’t want them dead,
or to take their bladders out. – I think this might be
the first time we don’t agree on anything. – Ram. – Ram? – Intestines. – Bladder. – Which one of us is getting pregnant? (bell chimes) – (beep) – Yeah! – Ohhhhh!
– See what happens when I listen to you! – I’m really glad that we have the methods that we have now, cuz none
of these sound appealing. – We learned that there must have been so many yeast infections. – I learned that people
were idiots back in the day, but how else were we gonna discover what worked and what didn’t work? – What silly birth control
myth do we have now? Is there something we do that’s like totally (beep) crazy? Probably. – Pull-out method seems crazy to me. Just seems like too much risk. You’re playing with fire.
– You really are. – You gotta be precise for that to work.