Stressed..

Stressed..


– Oh I’m just falling apart (sighing). So this is how fun
pregnancy is (sniffling). ♪ I’m vlogging, it’s
boring, I’m Colleen. ♪ Good morning. I know I said I wasn’t going to vlog probably the next couple days and I might not, I don’t know. Uh, but I’m gonna start right now and see what happens. So, I’m still in Santa Barbara and we were here for the
fourth of July yesterday, it was really really fun, really awesome. Uh, I had a great time, uh but I’m so tired and in two days I’m leaving for tour. And, I’m not ready at all
so that’s why I was like I don’t think I’ll be able to vlog because I have so much to do, I just can’t imagine finding the time. But I’m gonna try my hardest. Vlogging isn’t the issue,
it’s more finding time to edit is really hard for me. So, we’ll see. But today we’re gonna drive back to Los Angeles where I live. And, tomorrow I have
a doctor’s appointment and oh my god I’m so excited
to see the baby again. But one pregnancy symptom
that not all women have, but I have it really bad
and I’ve had it really bad for three months, maybe two months is a stuffy nose. Cannot breathe ever. It’s really annoying and it’s
not a very common symptom, but it’s literally 24/7 for me and it’s really frustrating. So, I don’t know why I just told you that, but that’s the truth. I’m gonna go, bye. Oh boy, it’s been a rough couple days. I didn’t vlog, I thought I
would have the energy to, I haven’t. I leave tomorrow for tour and I just had a full on
emotional breakdown to Eric and was just like, sobbing. Because I’m so pregnant (chuckles). But, honestly, I think I
would have had this breakdown regardless if I was pregnant or not, I think being pregnant
just made it worse, but. Basically I am so overwhelmed. Like I am so so so overwhelmed. Ew, I look so gross right now, I’m sorry you have to look at this. I don’t even know where to start. So. I have my book coming
out, in a couple days, my book signings, I have a bunch of press, talk shows and other random press stuff, I have my tech rehearsal for my show and then my bus tour starts. All within the next like four days and I’m not ready at all. And I’ve got like all these
three different schedules coming at me, but their overlapping and I was just like whoa whoa, my brain started to explode. And then I was, I went to the doctor today to check on the baby and they were like you have to get this other kind of blood work. You have to go to the doctor like every five minutes
when you’re pregnant and for someone like me who doesn’t like going to the doctor, that ain’t fun. So we went and I thought
it was just gonna be a regular like check up just
to see how the baby’s doing and it was a regular check
up and the baby’s fine and everything’s good and I’m healthy and everything’s great. However, I need this blood test and I’m gonna be out of
town when I’m supposed to get this blood test done, but you can only get it done between these two weeks of time,
but I’m gonna be traveling. And their like “well where
ya gonna be on these days?” I’m like, “I’m gonna be in
like six different states.” I’m in a new city every
day, like well you need to schedule this blood work. At the same time I was at the doctor, my phone was blowing up
from like the brands, my agent, my press people,
like the book publishers, and I just got so overwhelmed, I just like, my doctor could even tell I was like about to cry. (laughing) And he was like, “I don’t
wanna stress you out.” And I was like, “I’m fine.” (laughing) I was like, “how important
is this blood work?” And he was like, “it’s really important.” And I was like, “okay.” And I just, like. Was fighting back tears (laughing). And then all day today,
I’ve been running around, trying to get everything done, and like. (sighing) I’m so stressed
and I’m so pregnant it makes me more emotional and like. And then I feel bad when I get stressed because you’re not supposed to be stressed when you’re pregnant, so I’m like, “oh no is the stress bad for the baby?” And then I feel guilty (crying). So there’s a lot going on and the doctor was saying, oh you know, you can’t be like hugging
anyone with a cold or being near anyone who’s sick. And I’m like okay well I’m meeting over 200 people a day, for the next month and a half. So, I’m not allowed to hug my fans just in case someone has been exposed to a cold or a sickness and then that was stressing me out. And I was oh no, the
fans are gonna be upset. They bought tickets to a meet and greet and I can’t even hug them (sniffling). There’s just so many things, like my brain is just exploding. (sniffling) I’m so stressed out. (signing) And then like, I got on the scale today at the doctor and it’s like I’ve gained 11 pounds. (sniffling) Which I know is healthy and
normal when you’re pregnant, but like it’s really weird to see and to see your body look different. And, just like unfortunately our dumb society, just forces it into your brain that like gaining weight is bad, even though it’s
perfectly healthy and good for me to gain weight right now. But like my brain just
like is telling me I’m fat and gross (sighing). I’m falling apart (chuckles). So this is how fun pregnancy is. (sniffling) And to be honest, even
if I wasn’t pregnant, this is how I would be feeling right now. There is a lot going on in my life. And so, regardless if
I was pregnant or not, I think I would feel this way, the pregnancy just makes me like, extra emotional and like, it’s an extra added layer of, oh I need to stay healthy,
I can’t get stressed, and like I don’t want to leave Eric. Pregnancy has been really hard and it’s been so great to have Eric. He’s been making me breakfast and giving me my vitamins and like, even stupid little things, if I’m too tired to get out of bed he’ll go run an errand for me. If I even mention, saying like oh I can’t
breathe I have a stuffy nose and he like sets up a humidifier
and puts it right by me. Like brings me up ice water every night. Like he’s been so so sweet and been taking good care of me, so the thought of not being around him, (sniffling) like I just don’t want to do that. (giggles) I don’t want to do anything without him. But especially, I don’t
want to be pregnant and not have him next
to me the whole time. (sniffling) So. I’m just really stressed out, obviously. And it’s already 8 PM and because I’m pregnant
I’m gonna wanna fall asleep in like an hour or two because
my body just shuts off. (sniffling) And I have so much to do and I leave at 9 in the morning tomorrow. (sighing) I’m a mess. But yeah, just wanted to
give you guys an update on how (laughing) cool pregnancy can be. (sighing) Also, I’m so grateful for
all of us this by the way. Like I don’t, I hate
whenever I say that like something is hard, people go like, say that I’m so ungrateful. Like I hate that, I’m not ungrateful. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Like I love touring. I’m excited to go on my last tour. I’m sad it’s my last tour. I’m excited I get to do press. I’m excited that my book’s coming out. I’m excited that I’m pregnant,
it’s all good things. It’s just all at the
same time so it’s a lot. And I’m emotional, so
it’s stressing me out. And there’s a lot of pressure on me, from all these different
people all at the same time. And so, that’s all it is,
it’s not like me saying oh poor me, it’s not
poor me, it’s lucky me. Like I’m the luckiest girl in the world, but like I’m a human and
I have breaking points and I have limits and like
today I just got really stressed and um, yeah I just wanted to say that cause sometimes when I
come on this blog channel and I like, talk about something that’s hard for me, people say that I’m being ungrateful and I’m certainly not ungrateful. I couldn’t be more grateful for my job and my life and I’m just a person who gets stressed sometimes. And why is my camera focusing on the Miranda heads behind me? Focus on my face, my crying, gross face. Uh, maybe you want it to
focus on the things behind me. (sighing) Anyway. Um, so I’m gonna go downstairs and I’m gonna work on the show and eat some food and
try to get some sleep. Oh man, I’m a wreck. I wonder if I’ll even post this. I’m gonna try my hardest
to vlog every day on tour, we’ll see how that goes. Yeah I just feel like the
last week of vlogs and videos have been really happy, sweet. You know, up like, I’m so
happy everything is wonderful. And it is, but this happens too. And I just wanted to show you guys that this happens too (laughing). Being pregnant is the
hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, truly, and I have worked on a television show where I got three hours of sleep at night and had hundreds of people, you know, working with me and presenting me with problems and, um. That I thought was the
hardest thing I’ve ever done. And it was, until I got pregnant. But just making a human
grow inside your uterus, is really hard. (sighing) Okay. Ugh, you know I just had that breath. You know that breath, sometimes after you’ve been crying for a long time and then your body just goes (exhaling). (laughing) It’s like okay we’re done,
we got it out, we’re okay. Um, thanks for letting me vent. Thank you for supporting to me and coming to my shows and I love you guys a lot. And I’ll see you on tour, hopefully. Hopefully I won’t be a crying mess, but I’m pregnant so maybe I will be. I’m gonna try to get some work done. And I’m gonna get some
cuddles in with Eric. (crying) I’m so lame. Buh-bye. ♪ The Hug Song by Parker ♪

100 comments

  1. Ahh, seeing you sad makes me sad. We all love you, Colleen ❤️ And please remember, the most important thing is yours and your babies health. I know it must be hard to just relax and breathe when you have so much stuff going on, I can’t even imagine – but just remember that everything else comes second to your personal well being and your babies well being. Anyone who truly loves you, your true fans, friends, family, will all understand if you ever need to take a break or postpone anything. You’re one strong badass woman and you’ll get through all of this. And you’re gonna make one amazing mama that’s for sure 💕

  2. Do not worry Colleen the only thing that is more gross than you right now is when Miranda eats cat hair

  3. You know she calls herself lame but at the end of the day I think we all know that she will find a way to balance out everything

  4. Girl…on a serious note. We love you so much, Colleen. Like seriously, 100% love. Your like family to all of your subscribers. But sometimes family has to give you the hard truth and advice. You are going to fast. You need to take a deep breath and relax. We love you so much. So if you have to delay your book signing or cancel your tour or anything like that, We won’t care. All we care about is that your healthy and the baby’s healthy. Please breath and take at least 45 min a day to just relax and have alone time. Eather watch an episode of your favorite show or go on a nature walk, or read, or anything! Just do it calmly.
    One of your biggest fans
    -Benna
    (Also, ik this is ur last tour but if there is ANY chance at all that later you would do another, please consider coming to New Mexico again. I want to hug u once more!) ( BUT ONLY WHEN U FEEL BETTER!)

  5. No Stress!!! https://www.amazon.com/No-Stress-T-shirt/dp/B07FKXRP31/ref=sr_1_1?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1531822684&sr=1-1&nodeID=7141123011&psd=1&keywords=no+stress+t+shirt

  6. Whoever is telling you that you're ungrateful needs to think about that… A lot… You honestly need to take a break from YouTube and people can't be mad at you. Other YouTube or's are struggling with stress and uploading but to be pregnant on top of it I can't imagine how you're even doing it

  7. You have every right to feel the way you do, its natural anyone who thinks otherwise can just bite it. Being pregnant is the hardest thing you will ever do but it's also the greatest thing you'll do (making a life in general) own it good and bad(its not all rainbows and butterflies and anyone who says it is is psychotic lol) your doing awesome

  8. oh girl id be in a corner rocking back and forth asking for my stuffed animals with even HALF of that stress you're having. stay strong sweetheart <3

  9. It’s so much healthier for you and your little nugget to admit that your super stressed and work through that then walking around pretending everything fine with all of that simmering under the surface. Talking about this doesn’t make you ungrateful, it keeps you healthy. Hang in there 🙂

  10. Colleen how you get well and hope that you have the most wonderful child of the world!!!!💗💗💗Give you all my love!!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗

  11. You are beautiful!! True fans wouldn’t care if they can’t hug you because they want you to put you and your little baby’s safety and health first. You need to take a break girl! Being pregnant is so hard already and then having to travel for your tours. Your strong tho I’ll get through it and all of your fans will be there to help you♥️

  12. That is so exhausting and I have no idea how you do it! You are so strong and put your baby’s health before anything. Your fans will support you!

  13. You are so sweet and grateful for everything you have, I would never say that you aren't. It's okay to feel sad and overwhelmed, everyone feels that way! It does not make you less grateful, it's part of being human! Sending lots of love! You are great!!!

  14. U need to rest and Slow it down… U can always make it a Famliy act. U and Eric +babe.. I don't think. Anyone is going any where. Take care of i and that blessing

  15. I respect you so so much! Don't listen to anyone that says you are ungrateful because you have every right to be stressed no matter if you are pregnant or not! I look up to you so much because you are such an amazing, powerful, working woman (and soon mom)! You do so many things to make others happy, so don't feel bad if you think you are being selfish because you and your baby's health should be a priority… don't let people tell you otherwise! :)))

  16. colleen: "JUST making a human inside your uterus"
    me: w tf not JUST, you are growing a human, that's the hardest thing you can do.

  17. I had that symptom! It didn't last long though I got really sick at like 8 weeks and for three weeks after that I was stuffy as hellllll

  18. Colleen you HAVE to postpone the tour! we won’t mind at all because, we’ll, YOUR PREGNANT. you and your baby’s health is more important than a tour, please don’t overwork yourself for us. we love you so much colleen💞

  19. I'm so glad that you feel comfortable enough to share this with us. Emotions are nothing to be embarrassed about as you (obviously) know. Love you forever Colleen.❤❤❤

  20. Thank you for sharing this! you are such a trooper and so brave for showing us how tough it all is. You will get through this and I completely understand that you can have emotional breakdowns about this experience even while being super grateful at the same time.

  21. Colleen pleeease postpone the tour. You and your baby's health is first and we understand. Don't push yourself so hard!! We love you and want you to take care of yourself!

  22. Think about what is most important your unborn child I think you should cancel some shows to get the blood work because it is crucial it’s ok I am sure if you do that your fans will understand hope you feel better ILYSM😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  23. To make sure nothing happens shower right after the meet and greet to get the germs off as quick as posible

  24. I hope everything gets better for you! I've lost 20lbs 😒 I'm hoping to start gaining soon❤ I'm 4 months pregnant & it does take a toll on many women… It's a few that go through their pregnancy blissfully… Again I hope everything gets better for you❤ make sure you get plenty of rest😊

  25. Colleen crying made me almost cry fr like seeing her stressed and cry about how she wont have Erik made me feel upset for her and then when she started talking about letting down fans i was like noooooooo

  26. If you need to take a break a break from tour or anything then do it. True fans will understand ❤️❤️😇

  27. Colleen I know you are stressed but it’s going to be worth it in the end. I give you all the respect in the world for doing what you do because most people would’ve quit. You have this fighting spirit that most people wish they had. Thank you for all the videos and for being real with everything. Society has told us that we need to hide our emotions but you don’t and that’s one of the things I like about you. I like the fact that you are real with everything and that you share these experiences with us. Keep up the good work.

  28. Aw I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, I hope you’re feeling better now ❤️ when my aunt was pregnant the for the 1st time she was telling me all her symptoms like feeling sick all the time and X,Y&Z and I didn’t know pregnancy wasn’t all unicorns and fairy dust so you’re not alone in that pregnancy isn’t always 100% unicorn 🦄 status for everyone lol and that’s ok, you’re making another human inside of you and I hope you’re feeling much better and if you’re not, then that’s ok too bc you’re human and you will get through this 😊 (but I still hope you’re feeling better haha) 💕💕💕

  29. I’m not pregnant but I have hw same symptom: Stuffy Nose. Now you know how it feels to have allergies :P. (STUPED FLIPPING ALLERGIES YOU MOTHER TRUCKIN BUT)

  30. Colleen take a break we are all here for you and we support you but please just take a break!!!!btw I love you!!😍😘😘😘

  31. I don’t think I ever saw this video but I love you colleen and you look gorgeous you don’t look gross🥰🥰🥰🥰

  32. i read about 100 comments and you are all so nice so to all you haters EFF YO CHICKEN STRIPS AND BE NICE AND SUPPORTIVE TO COLLEEN IF YOU HAVE NOTHING NICE TO SAY SAY NOTHING AT ALL. STAY BEAUTIFUL LOVE YOU ALL😊😉😘💙👶💖💋🐭🐑🐏🐢

  33. I’m pregnant right now and having a bad day. I came straight to your channel to rewatch your videos because youre one of the only people that tells it how it is. Thank you

  34. We all know that you are a sweet loving person. We ALL have these times and I want to give you a hug because everyone needs a hug when they are sad! Being stressed is a normal thing and it is NOT fun! We are all sorry about the times when you are stressed! And being pregnant probably leads to people being stressed, depressed, and having anxiety! Since you don’t like it when we feel bad for you, I just want to tell you that seeing these vids of you crying, helps us to see we are not the only ones. We all love you Colleen Ballinger! You are an AWESOME😎 person and we DO know that you really try your best as a mom, you tuber, wife, and a friend! This was just a message to tell you that you really matter to us! Have a good day! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻😁

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