Tension in the Belly–releasing deeply held resistance | nondual satsang with Jon Bernie

Tension in the Belly–releasing deeply held resistance | nondual satsang with Jon Bernie

[meditation bell] Jon: Hi! Participant: Hi Jon. P: Um, so, the last time–I’ll try to speak up– J: No, that’s fine, I can hear you fine. P: The last time that I spoke with you, um, you suggested that I go easy on myself when it comes to falling into getting caught up in thinking and um, not being so critical of myself for
doing that. And that was very helpful. And now when I look back on it, it seems
strange that I needed somebody to tell me that. But, um… when I let go of that, I felt much more at peace with the whole process. And with that I noticed that I got caught up in
thinking a lot less. Funny how that works. [she laughs] Jon: Beautiful. P: Um…but then it kind of swung the other way, where I wasn’t worrying about it to the point where… um…I wasn’t staying with awareness as much as I had been. Jon: ah. P: And so then, I realized that, and this is just what you were talking about right now um, it requires a certain diligence. Jon: Right. P: And yet, it’s a matter of diligence without any judgment Jon: Exactly. P: Um… Jon: And you keep, you know, returning to that balance, finding that balance. And it’s fine to go off balance. That’s how it works. P: Ah-hmm. P: Yeah, hmmm. But one thing I notice a lot is that even when… even when I just stay with awareness and… it’s…it feels really good because it’s like the whole sense of self seems to fade more that way. Jon: Ah-hmm P: And yet I always feel this, like, sense of holding on to something. Jon: In your belly? P: Yeah. Almost like it’s a physical tension as well. Jon: Ah-hmm. Right. P: I haven’t been able to really figure out what that is or how to let go of it. Jon: Ah-hmm. P: No matter how much I try [she laughs] to let go of it. P: It’s always there to some degree or another. Jon: Ah-hmm. Jon: Hmmm. I understand. P: Is it just something that will change– it’s been there for a long time. Jon: Ah-hmm. Yeah, I think things like that, well, they certainly guide us…in a way. And um… [pause] … Just stay right here with this…yeah. It’s such an important question because this is what happens as we become more enlivened, awake– that that which has, you know, been held, those deeply protected places in our bodies usually– become really really obvious. And can be even more frustrating, because they are more obvious. We feel
them more. P: Yeah. Jon: Sometimes those things take quite a
while before they stop or evaporate. Other times, they may arise and there’s a whole different relationship to them. I think finding out how to…be the space of awareness that lets it come up and be how it is, will guide the process–rather than figuring it out. Jon: Even knowing what it might be. Because a lot of times we– we may not know what it’s gonna, we may
not know what it’s about. P: Ah-hmm. Jon: We could maybe get imagery or have
insight possibly, or even intuition, but ultimately we may not know at all. And, that really doesn’t matter. P: Ah. Ok. Jon: If it matters we’ll find out. If it
doesn’t we won’t. But it can still unravel. P: So, I don’t need to try and figure it out? Jon: No. But I think what’s helpful is to notice the energy of what you are describing as “trying to figure it out.” P: Ah-hmm. Jon: You know, if that’s some…what’s behind, what’s underneath, what’s deeply the source of trying to figure it out. See, even as I say that, something starts to open energetically. Can you feel that? P: It’s because I want to get rid of it, that’s why. [she laughs] Jon: Yeah, of course. Jon: And that’s always the, that’s always where the, um… that’s always the hottest point, and the
most poignant, the most transformative–is to get back
to that fundamental holding. It’s almost like even those conditions have identities which can then be liberated. So we ultimately are liberating all the parts of our conditional self. So, in a way, by questioning, by allowing it,
(sorry, this thing gets in the way), by allowing it, um… I’m not even sure I have the words…they are coming…from somewhere… Jon: I can sense that that which needs to understand what I’m saying is getting it without the words even. P: Ah-hmm. That’s why I like to say, even say “yes” to “no.” [he laughs] [meditation bell]


  1. Thank you for posting this Jon. The thought that we may not know at all, and that ultimately, it doesn't matter…so much space in that. This has helped me loosen my grip. Peace

  2. Thanks for the reminder Jon. Nice to come back to this place. It's like this uncomfortable sensation we may hold within our bodies is constantly attempting to remove itself. I guess that is the simplest way I can put it.

  3. We would love to get rid of our challanges as soon as possible, until than I guess hard to want but," yes to no"

    I͛ h͛a͛v͛e͛ t͛h͛a͛t͛ s͛a͛m͛e͛ t͛e͛n͛s͛i͛o͛n͛ i͛n͛ m͛y͛ s͛t͛o͛m͛a͛c͛h͛. N͛o͛w͛ w͛e͛ a͛r͛e͛ n͛o͛ a͛ m͛o͛r͛e͛ a͛w͛a͛r͛e͛

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