The Worst Things About Trying To Get Pregnant

The Worst Things About Trying To Get Pregnant

– Tonight I wanna talk about something that you guys have been
texting and commenting about. I have two children so I’d say I’m pretty
good at getting pregnant, but a lot of you out there
are trying and struggling, so I wanna talk about that tonight. Tonight’s topic is the worst things about trying to get pregnant. If it was just about like having sex, we would not have an episode about this. So first, it gets way too clinical. When most people think
of conceiving a child, their thought is like oh you get married and you go on a honeymoon,
and you just make one, and that’s not how it happens a lot of the time for a lot of couples. You want your child to be conceived in this natural
environment of like warmth, and love, and happiness, and when you’re charting ovulation, and you’re like literally using a calender to figure out the best day to make a baby, it takes a lot of the romance out of it which is discouraging. Especially if it does not work out for you the first couple of months, it turns into this like
peeing on a lot of sticks, scheduling sex, monitoring your diet, monitoring your partner’s diet, having to wait which is
such an annoying part of it because that’s the way you know if that whole month was
a success or a waste. So while I know it can get
into this cycle of like non-romance, kind of clinical, try to have as much fun
with it as you possibly can, and just make the most
of the situation at hand. And at least you’re getting some you know? Like… You’re having sex (giggles). So next, the jealousy. I have the most insane baby fever right and I mean insane because
now is not a reasonable time for me to have a child – I have two beautiful children already – and it just so happens that
most of my friends are pregnant. And they’re all posting
pictures of their cribs that they’re setting up in their nursery and their bump progress photos, and their gender reveal,
and all that shit. And I’m just like fuck you! I love you but fuck you, I’m so jealous. What we all need to realize is that this person is not taking
anything away from you. It’s not like their child is the child that you could’ve had. So while the jealousy is real, don’t try to steal it ’cause
I know they smell really nice, and like you might be tempted but I thought this through
and it’s just not gonna work. You don’t want to live
your life on the run as good as their heads smell. Next, you become hyper aware of your body. Every little blip feels like something and you become this like
hypochondriac of sorts. So like for me, I would have like a little gas bubble and be like I think the baby’s kicking. But it’s like no, I don’t
even know if I’m pregnant; like it’s gas (chuckles). And it doesn’t help
that pregnancy symptoms are the same as period symptoms because you’re bloated, you’re moody, you know you have a
little bit of cramping. All that stuff like is
either period or baby! But there’s just no way of
knowing which one it is, so you end up constantly
convincing yourself that you’re pregnant. But I’ve had friends
tell me, “I’m pregnant. I’m absolutely pregnant. I pushed my boob a bunch
of times and it hurt.” And I’m like no you just, you pushed your boob until it hurt. I feel like there’s gotta be
a better solution for this. Like why don’t our belly buttons just like pop out or something. Like what is a, it’s like
a turkey thermometer, like pregnant! Oh my switch flipped, there we go. So next, April Fools. I don’t know who started this trend of just an announcement, we’re expecting, and it’s like a piece
of food on an ultrasound that’s not funny! First of all, it’s so overdone, it’s so stupid, and it’s very insensitive, and it really bums people out who are trying to conceive
and are unable to. So if you’re thinking about doing a pregnancy announcement on April Fool’s, it’s been done. There are way better ideas. You come see me later. I will give you like 10
gold April Fool’s jokes. That’s all you need to know. And last, unsolicited advice. I don’t know what it is about people who encounter someone who’s trying and they decide to just blurt
out all this stupid shit. But I’ve heard the weirdest stuff when it comes to trying to conceive like, oh you gotta do it everyday. Oh just do it everyday? Okay that’s fine if you’re
trying for like two weeks, but have you tried doing it everyday for a fucking year? Do you know how sore you would be? (laughs) Like that’s just not possible. The best piece of advice is when you stop trying is
when it’s gonna happen. Like what do you mean by stop trying? You mean when you stop having sex? I don’t know if you didn’t take
human development in school, but you can’t just stop having sex and then magically get pregnant. It’s not how it works. And I’m realizing that
I’m a total hypocrite like making a whole video giving advice. I’m just trying to help you through it as a person who’s been through it. I’m just trying to create
a safe space for it. When you look into your child’s eyes you’re not going to remember
like the sticks you peed on, or the blood tests you took, or the doctor’s visits you had to do, and like whatever process it took. Whether it was conceiving
or IVF, or adoption, none of that matters. And however it happens, I hope it does happen
for you and when it does, it’s going to be everything. So to all of you out there who are trying, may your conception be fruitful like this wine of grapes. So that’s all I’ve got for today. I’m Hannah, your friendly
neighborhood wine mom and if there’s a topic you want me to talk about in a future episode, or any experience you have
with trying to conceive, leave it in the comments or you can always text me. I don’t always respond but
I read every single one. I’d love to hear what you
guys want me to talk about and I love hearing your personal stories. And in the mean time,
I’m gonna go on Facebook and look at all my friend’s pictures of their newborns to feel my baby fever. Till next time. (whines) They’re so cute. Oh my god they’re so little. It’s not fair. *sighs* Oh my god.


  1. Fertility treatment should be on the list…. It. Blows. Especially after trying naturally for 6 years and assisted for 18 months…. 3 miscarriages later, definitely worse things than some of these things on this list.

  2. I can't relate to this considering I'm only 15, but she's hilarious so im gonna keep watching πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  3. hannah i cant text u can u start a whatsapp accout cz im out of th us and my country charges alot for a single text

  4. Hannah: if u try every day for a year u would be sore
    Me: has been trying almost everyday for a year and slightly considering being infertile

  5. 7 years still waiting for a baby. every little unusual things that happened to my body. I thought oh wow is this it? BUT IT WASN'T… oh well

  6. I thought for the longest time I could not for the life of me get pregnant, my other boyfriends were really abusive and really mean, I met my boyfriend almost a year ago and we have the best relationship ever he helps me and he makes me happy. God chose my boyfriend and we are pregnant, I’m so happy even though we aren’t ready at all πŸ˜‚ we can’t wait to give the baby loves and kisses.

  7. it seems like it either takes several tries to conceive or the mom will simply get off the pill and conceive within two weeks. I’ve never heard of anything in between lol.

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