WANNA HAVE SEX? (CONSENT 101)

WANNA HAVE SEX? (CONSENT 101)


– Well hi babes. You know what is so deliciously hot to me? When I’m with a person I like and there’s a little bit of sexual tension and then they lean over and they’re like, “Can I kiss you?” (screaming) I don’t make that sound. usually. Why is it so sexy? Because they ask for
consent, if it was okay. Which shows one, they respect me and two that they’ve got some basic sexual communication down. Hot. But consent isn’t just hot, it’s also mandatory. Sexual contact without
consent is assault or rape. Here’s the thing, people often think of sexual coercion as something that’s violent
or physically restraining. In really sexual coercion
is often much more subtle, it happens between two people who know and maybe even trust each other. The perpetrator will use
pressure, manipulation, drugs, alcohol, and force
to initiate sexual contact without permission. And worse, in the real
world, sexual coercion is often seen as acceptable. You know, like pushing
someone over and over and over after they’ve said no or
throwing yourself on someone without warning because it’s romantic. Ohhhh, that shit’s not romantic. It’s just creepy and assaulty and rapey. So can people just, can you
not, can you not do that? Are you enjoying yourself? How does that feel? Do you like that? Do you want me to keep going? How far do you want to go? You look uncomfortable, are you okay? Good consent is basically
just checking in. It’s paying attention to
someone’s body language, how they’re doing. It’s keeping those lines
of communication open so that everyone’s on the same page and everyone feels safe and comfortable, which means this is not
how you ask for consent. Uh-uh, nope. Come on I thought you liked me. I promise you’ll like it. Just do it for me. What’s the big deal, we’ve had sex before. I’m so horny right now. You liked it last weekend. Douchebag alert. Also potential rapist alert. Rapists often see sex as
something that’s owed to them. Sex is never something
that’s owed to someone. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been flirting, if you hooked up before,
if they bought you dinner. Not even if you’re naked. Pushing someone until they finally give in is not consent because you’re basically not giving the option to say no. So how can you know if someone
is consenting once you ask? Yes please. Um-hum. Oh man that feels so good. ♫ Touch my body, put me on the floor ♫ Um-hum keep going. I’m down for anything in these areas, but not these areas. Yeah right there. Why yes I would like that. Notice how consent is a clear yes. It’s enthusiastic. I want it. It’s out loud and there’s
no doubt in your mind. Remember, consent can always be retracted. So if you feel like the
vibes have kind of changed or you’re unsure, getting mixed signals, you want to check in. This is what no might sound like. I don’t like that. Can you stop? I’m not ready for this. Can we slow down for a second? I’m not into this anymore. I guess, if you want me to. Please don’t. Just because someone doesn’t say no doesn’t mean they’re saying yes. They might feel uncomfortable, or guilty, or not know how to say it. That is why it’s really
important to hear that verbal out loud yes and if they’re being quiet, ask them, “Hey, how you doing, what’s up, “how’s it going, everything okay?” And that my dear is
basically in a nutshell is how you practice good consent. So now I want to talk
about some situations where consent cannot happen even with a verbal yes. Sometimes people get drunk. You may have learned this about the world. When it comes to sex a
little bit of alcohol isn’t a big deal, but if
they’re too drunk to drive they’re too drunk to give consent, period. Getting sexual with someone who’s wasted, slurring their words, their body is limp, they can’t communicate clearly,
maybe they’re throwing up, that’s absolutely sexual assault. Let’s all do the right
thing and take care of them, not take advantage of them. Sometimes when I’m at school, people ask me, “Well what if they’re both “really, really drunk?” It’s pretty simple. Sex is an active thing. It requires the intentional action of at least one party to get it done. Remember, sex isn’t something
that happens to someone, it’s something that happens together. Both people participating
like this, kind of. Having sex with someone who is intoxicated or in this compromised
state is against the law. You can be expelled and
you can go to jail for it. Age of legal consent, it varies by state, it varies by country, but for an adult to have sex with a
minor is statutory rape. In general, when people are in two very different parts of their life, it raises some red flags. This ties in with situation number three. When you old authority over them. You can’t get consent from someone who you have power over. So I’m talking about things
like teachers and doctors, therapists, coaches, priests, caregivers, famous actors, maybe even famous YouTubers with their fans. One party depends on the
other when they trust them, rely on them, when they idolize them, it severely impairs
their ability to consent. Why? Power dynamics like these come with strong underlying vulnerabilities, which can give the
appearance of consensual sex when it’s actually exploitative. You know, someone abusing their power. You need to make open lines
of communication and consent just a standard normal part of sex. Not a situation where most
teenagers can’t even describe what consent is. But we do have the power
to change as individuals and by spreading this
information to other people. We can help to create something
called consent culture. That’s a culture where
all of the sex that is had is sex that is wanted and
that’s how it should be, but that’s not how it is. Give me all the consent. I’m ready. I love you all so, so much and I will see you again next time. Bye, bye.

100 comments

  1. @lacigreen What do you think of my understanding of sex as physical communication?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfAgUfQ3zmc&list=PLMMFr0nz-Le1MK_vV1p8fUBmz5n-38AAc&index=2&t=307s

  2. See that's what's wrong with feminists today they're not like you they're not unique they always don't talk about men being sexist they talk about different things like consent

  3. It's not sexy. You say so but then you friendzone them if they ask, and you fall in love and get raped by psychopaths who don't even recognise your existence.

  4. For all the hate, I feel like if my rapist had seen this, he may not have become my rapist. If you don't understand, just listen. If you do, I'm so sorry and much love xxxx

  5. Trashman – made a LIST of ALL his new AIDS victims. Then he reads the girls name
    on social media. ( Girl, you better hope "your name" — is not on his list ) …. lol.

    He’s on my tab …

  6. Your words are funny I've had over 70 females and 1/4 0f them sucked me off and made me finger them while I was driving and they were feeling good so that's consent and BTW in the morning while in bed with them it continues and was awesome don't get mad your bag is dry just came here LMAO I'll teach you a trick or 2

  7. this is ridiculous. feminism like all leftist creeds is fundamentally antihuman.people like laci here are youth who swallowed the cynical lying hatefilled commie teachers crap uncritically.

  8. Funny thing is, laci seems to just be more passive aggresive than usual than just ranting,

    Anyway, why are all the liked comments negative?

    Oh wait, why are all of them liked?

  9. Stop with this teach boys not to rape bullshit we know what consent is rapists know rape is bad but they do it anyway because they don’t care don’t blame this on all men blame this is people who are sick and disgusting enough to rape aka the criminals

  10. Oh my god, the Drunken Uncle does awesome with your video's. He makes you look like a fool, but it's sooooo funny. And let's face it, you give him a lot of material to work with.

  11. I am so glad I am in a 10-year relationship…all the games + this garbage… I am good with never trying to court another woman. Just want to say thanks to all girls who don't subscribe to this way of thinking. PS laci..we are not all rapists.

  12. You know Laci, rapists, real rapists, not the fantasy stuff you're making up here, don't care about that. You know that right? Real Rapists know it's a crime and still do it. They don't care.

    It's just the fantasy stuff you're making up here that could change. But noone would want that. That would make sex be as robotic and purely functional as it could be.

    And you better believe, Laci, if someone cooked me a dinner, and then appeared in the doorway, naked and shouting "I'm horny!" that i would take that as consent. I don't know if you think that makes me a potential rapist because we didn't make a contract specificaly laying out that sex under these certain conditions can happen, but generally speaking, unless you're in some hardcore roleplaying stuff, it's not as hard to figure out if your partner is enjoying themselves or not as you make it out to be. And even if you are into hardcore roleplaying stuff that's what the saveword is for.

  13. Why is it acceptable for a woman to want sex to stop and a man has to comply, but if a man wants to stop, they are made to feel inadequate. It is seen as a problem with terms like “premature ejaculation”, where the word premature implies that they have finished to soon. Too soon for who? For the woman? Well if a woman withdraws consent before a man wants to stop, he can’t complain it’s too soon. And if it’s too soon for the man it because they don’t want to disappoint the woman, so again it’s tied to what the woman wants. So it seems like we’re being told sex should last for as long as a woman wants, but not for men.

    So men, next time you finish in just a few minutes and the woman you’re with complains, tell her you are withdrawing consent and if she’s going to pressurise you to last longer than want, tell her that she is reinforcing rape culture and that no means no.

  14. I did not consent to you uploading this video thus you have forcefully inserted you voice pattern into my mineralogical processing unit. please cease and desist you'r unwanted verbal interactions.

  15. I agree with most of why she's saying, but really, ANY alcohol is too much to be driving. Please don't drive, even if it was only half a drink.

  16. some of these comments are so ridiculous. like is it really THAT much of an issue to just ASK if your partner is okay with the way you touch them or ASK them how they're feeling while getting intimate?? it's like a job or school work, if you're not sure, ASK. it's always better to ask than to not ask shoot yourself in the foot after…

  17. You completely contradicted yourself as soon as you uttered the phrase "body language." And "check in?" It's sex, not a Holiday Inn.

  18. What many people here are not understanding is that this goes both ways. If the girl you're having sex with is NOT asking what you are feeling while having sex, then you are not giving consent. And she is technically assaulting you because remember. 2:10 Being naked doesn't mean you are consenting. Because you might not know if the girl actually manipulated you to have sex with her. She may have just pushed you until you finally gave in 2:12. Also be careful if she is a hot girl. A 10/10 girl would easily be someone you idolize. and remember if you idolize that girl. YOUR ABILITY TO GIVE CONSENT IS ALREADY IMPAIRED 4:55. So safe sex guys!

  19. Are your total of 4 braincells capable of anything other than ignorance and belligerence towards men because you have a need to put yourself on some kind of pedestal

  20. I remember well when I was underage as a guy. I couldn't count how many women took advantage of me not all sexual but some did. I was also drunk when me ex girlfriend had gone ALL THE WAY. I had no memory of it. She even confessed. It was brought up the next day cause we were at my aunt's house in a trailer. Everyone was laughing at the trailer shaking. Women are worse than men cause they can get away with it without permission even when caught. If I get raped and no one cares how can I show compassion? When I was 15 I had to leave fast cause my friends girlfriend was serious. She said she was gonna rape me. It's really hard for me to understand cause how many look at us men as rapist. I get more pleasure turning women down. Not all women, just the ones that deserve it.

  21. I like this Video but I do not agree with the part about people holding authority over someone else, every single interaction between two people there is always someone who, in some way is "more present" for lac of a better word: abiding by these rules no one would ever have sex.

  22. I have my sexual partners to accept sexual contact while videotaping. She will state the date, hour, she will state her absolute and willing consent and she will resolve an easy math operation to clarify her cerebral operationality. Im not going to jail or forfit my hard earned money because of a hag.

  23. Wow. The worst part of this video is that you think you're cute. The next worst part is that you think your opinion is "word" and everyone else's should be the same. Overall shittyness is you thinking anyone thinks your sexual simulation scenes are sexy. I threw up in my mouth a little and may never be able to look at a redhead again without suffering PTSD.

  24. no means no, maybe means no, silence means no, yes means no. only a notarized contract signed before 2 witnesses and a lawyer and filmed and
    recorded means yes TEMPORARILY. Consent can be retroactively withdrawn at any time for any reason or even no reason up to even 30 years after. Gentlemen, you can have sex with her but then you ll have to kill her or she WILL accuse you of rape decades later, particularly if you get rich or famous.

  25. OMG I…I…. kissed my grandma without asking consent sob snif snif………… I raped my grandmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! KILL ME KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. no its not you will need to call the cops and have it delt with then have it judged by cops that it was rape and kissing please if a man dosnt come behind you and thrust his hips on you butt when you are bending down to get your pen he boring

  27. For everyone who's saying that to ask for a kiss is a mood killer:
    1. Seriously you don't have any clue how to say that and make it sound sexy? Then the blame's on you, cause you should learn. The first time someone asked me something like thst I was really surprised and he did it so smoothly. Cmon people, just dont make it a moodkiller, thats on you
    2. There's people saying that they can't be always asking their husband/wives/whoever. If you're seriously not capable of understanding that is a mixture of body language, knowing the person, communication, and a lot of things and that obviously you don't have to ask everything everytime to your partner,what she's saying are just ways to make sure the other one's alright. Don't blame her because your reasoning is poor

  28. I'm sure this has been posted a few thousand times but I'm going to bum it [edit from the future – I meant "Bump it"… but.. what ever :)] anyway… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMON_0I6ykc That really was a genuine error. sorry 🙂

  29. I tried this on my girlfriend and she just looks at me like i am going crazy, in the end i had to jerk off in the shower.

  30. Well, even if we DO give consent we can still be accused of rape, and even if there's no evidence we will still be labelled rapists

  31. I understand the thought process behind the video as it does call for interesting conversations and opinions. A bit out of touch from reality but if the intent was to put the message out in an effort to get people to discuss this and point out what really happens vs what's being said should happen, then this video is spot on to accomplish that task.

  32. I think we should change consent into a legal process, where the two parties have to sign a waiver before any engagement

  33. This is the real reason why Donald Trump is president. Because dumbasses like Laci Green represent the other side. Personally, I’m a liberal, but it scares me that people on MY SIDE actually think like this. Like, yeah ok I’ll remember to ask for consent when someone is getting on top of me🤦🏻‍♂️

  34. So, as a man I'm supposed to continue checking in on her at even intervals? How long can I go without checking in on her before I'm considered to be raping her?

  35. Have you ever had sex? I'm not so sure. This is a lesson how to take all the intimacy out of the act. Guess what… If I don't want it I'll let the man know. Don't ask me every two minutes if I'm still in

  36. You Feminists do realize that the ethnic group who disregards the rejection of women the most are muslims, don't you?
    Muslims are also the ones who have it in their culture that women are for men to own. They also hang and drop gays off of apartment buildings.
    I don't say that all muslims hate gays, but the majority very clearly do.
    Needless to say they despise feminism, as do I, but they use your kind-heartedness to get in enough muslims, so that they outnumber us and start turning our societies into the ones they had in their homelands. From the inside out via our political organs.
    It is important that you realize this. Or at least consider it.
    I am not here to provoke people or to say you are stupid. Even if that is my opinion.
    This is off topic a bit, and I will not answer to people who are not willing to look at this without their prejudices.

    Thanks, I'm off to eat.

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