WE’RE PREGNANT!

WE’RE PREGNANT!


(Music playing)
Yup! Mmm hmmm!
(Laughing) I don’t even know where to begin… She’s pregnant! I’m pregnant!!! Can I just
say that is a very surreal sentence to be coming out of my mouth we okay where
do we even begin with this man?! She’s pregnant. I’m pregnant! Crazy it was
planned that is what I will say but we had a lot of conversations about this as
to like what we were gonna say exactly because I realized that if you’ve been
following our adoption and foster journey over the last 15 months that
you’re probably like wait what the heck what do you mean this was planned?! This
was a very new plan and we will get to that um but yeah..
Go ahead…I don’t know where you are taking this! Okay so I will start with this I am very very very very very early
pregnancy in fact I’m so early pregnancy and I’m so new to the concept of
pregnancy in general that I actually don’t even really understand how far
along I am. I think according to my app I am five weeks but that is five weeks
after the start date of my last period or maybe it’s six weeks now so that’s
not like from conception so I actually still don’t really even understand which
one is counted but I am very early obviously we’re not waiting till the end
of the first trimester to tell people and the reason that we came to that
conclusion was not only because we’ve been documenting the whole foster
adoption process the whole time and we’ve had a lot of disappointments along
that journey that we’ve shared with you as well but also because when we were
talking about it I was like dude I’m the kind of person that if God forbid I had
a miscarriage I wouldn’t be able to keep that to myself anyways like I would
want to talk about that I would want to share because I know it’s something that
happens you know so we were like okay so there’s there’s really not a reason than
for us to keep this private like well my reason was because
a lot of people tell me to keep it quiet and that’s why I want to do the opposite
this is suddenly he wants to do the other thing exactly yeah
so because I don’t care everybody that I’ve told I literally told them just
wait till our video if you want to hear the full gist I’ve given people the kind
of basic like overview as to how we got to this place I’ll give you a little bit
more of the rundown right now I guess. I still feel bad. I feel like I always drag
you into these videos and then go home and then I just stay here and like talk
about but it’s a joint journey. It’s the two of us so okay as you guys know…this is the Nikki
Phillippi channel after all. Yes, this is the Nikki Phillippi channel but farmer Dan’s
here a lot and everybody loves farmer Dan um so as you guys know it’s been
about 15 months of us pursuing adoption and then foster care and basically you
know us pursuing all of that was twofold. It was coming from the perspective of A:
hey let’s grow our family we’re ready and B from where we were coming from
before thinking that there was a specific needs that we could step in and
fill and the farther that we got along if you’ve watched our whole journey I feel
like we’ve kind of made this we vocalize this we’ve said it that the farther we
went along the more we realized oh the needs that we thought existed seem to
not really be there like they there isn’t this excess of babies in the world
that just like need to be adopted our foster care system here in Nashville is
mostly filled with older children and so there really was this two-sided thing of
like wanting to fill a need yes but also wanting to start and grow our family and
so as we went forward in this you know got 15 months down the line I kind of
started to get to this place as did he where we were like dude we’re like still
at square zero like we’ve been we have done blood work..multiple blood work,
psychiatric evaluations, multiple letters, written by doctors multiple, interviews,
Skype interviews, written reports, classes, all of these things
which is fine but then we realized we’re not like any closer to growing our
family now than we were at the beginning at least from our perspective and we
started to feel like this could take an undetermined amount of time mm-hmm which
like I said it’s fine but here’s something that I have felt from the
beginning and I think you guys have maybe picked up on this so if you’ve
been following me for a long time you know that I have always been terrified
at the thought of having biological children and we have debated not having
biological children because of the various aches and pains and injuries
that I’ve dealt with in my body since I was basically 12 and the different
surgeries that I’ve had have left me with some pain and you know just unknown
answers to things so we were kind of on the fence but basically after this whole
you know 15 months and feeling like we’re not any closer that was kind of
the first thing I started to be like oh man we’re not any closer second thing I
just turned 32. It’s very well documented that once you turn 32 you have your very
first drop in fertility and so that was something that started to play in my
mind is I was like okay you’re gonna start hitting the point Nikki we’re like
if you can have children cuz we didn’t know I mean I actually kind of started
to worry a little bit because I was like we’ve been together for 11 years and
we’ve never had like an oops so like what if that means that I can’t get
pregnant so I started to think like I’m 32 I’m having my first drop in fertility
and then a couple things happened earlier in the year. If you guys follow
me on Instagram, you know that I had food poisoning like severe food poisoning
or the flu it’s up for its in in the air for debate but it was severe it was like
projectile vomiting, weak for like seven days a week and that made me kind of
think about the fact like hey I survived I made it like maybe I could handle
pregnancy and then also right after the food poisoning I threw my neck out twice
in the same month back-to-back so I spent more than half the month in bed
and not really got my wheels turning – because I was like hey you know like I
have these injuries but I survived. I stayed in bed, I healed. I made it and so
all these pieces started going where I was like maybe we should just try
because if I don’t make the decision to try then that decision is gonna be taken away from me at some point so maybe I am
a fertile woman but then by age it’s gonna go away and with all of my aches
and pains and all the I mean I feel like I’ve spent the price of a new car just
we’ve spent the price of a new car just in the last like four years trying to
heal my body mm-hmm and nothing has worked and I started to realize these
problems probably aren’t going to get better as I get older they are they’re
gonna stay the same or get worse and it’s proven that the older you get it
can be harder to bounce back from pregnancy and so all of these pieces
started to come together and I was like if I’m gonna do this because I don’t I
don’t think if it’s in my hands I want to be an old lady one day assuming I
live that long and look back and be like oh I just I waved it for myself I mean
it may be but I was like I think I would rather try and then it’s not my choice
like oh I can’t get pregnant like up well there you go question answered and
so I had all these thoughts flying around we’ve been thinking about it and
talking about it for our entire marriage this has been an eleven-year
conversation but stuff really bubbled to the surface in the last couple months
and then one day I just walked in the office and I said today and I was like
“Dan I think I want to try to have a baby” and I remember you you were at the
computer and you like turn in your chair and looked at me and he was like what
you’ve never said that and I was like I know I was like I think we should just
pursue both because one thing that my therapist has been beating into my head
is that none of this is really in my control like she was like clearly it’s
not look at all the problems you’ve had with adoption like just because you have
had a willingness and you’ve shown up and you paid money and you’ve done this
appointments you still don’t have a child like nothing is in your control
like it was always a hundred percent in our control to not have a kid yeah
because we didn’t we did pretty well with that yeah and so yeah you can’t say
100% though some people have legitimate accidents but but yeah but I
know we’re kind of in the same boat where we’re like how does a real
accident occur. It doesn’t. but yeah yeah, we are going to get a lot of comments about that. yeah I don’t know yeah the accident
thing it’s I think a lot of people are being
telling white lies you know we always joke about that we’re like whatever you
totally wanted a baby. I forgot what I was gonna sorry you you were saying about um
you’re like oh we didn’t have a baby cuz we didn’t oh yea.. but we
when you try to have a baby nothing’s in your control. Exactly! Take take the whole
adoption thing for instance yeah and then we didn’t
know how long it was gonna take to try ourselves yeah I mean so many people try
for years we have family members that it took them a year over a year people that
tried like I said for years and can’t get pregnant so I literally was like
okay I’m 32 if it takes us a year which is not called infertility that’s like
common then I’ll be 33 when I’m pregnant so I’ll be almost 34 when I birth my
first child so all of this literally was like oh my gosh we gotta go so I have
just been like educating myself about fertility and paying attention to the
foods that I’m eating I’m gonna always do but really like increasing I know
there’s a lot of debate on you know animal products but I had really come to
believe that an important part of fertility was heavier fat animal
products as well so creams and butters eggs stuff like that and just doing a
lot of research and like you know the vitamins and blah blah blah and
basically month one is we started trying halfway through the month because I was
under the impression that that’s when you ovulate halfway through the month so
that’s when we started trying didn’t get pregnant. We missed it. Yeah I didn’t get pregnant, missed it and then after that first
month my friend was like you know you can ovulate at any time like seven days
after your period right I was like no I didn’t know that so second month after
seven days after my period that’s when we started trying and because he works
from home we can pretty much try whenever however many times we want so
we like tried pretty much every single day after that seven days and then that
is the month we got pregnant so we got pregnant month two he jokes it was month
one because he feels like month one didn’t really
like the full effect but maybe but got pregnant month two and it was so crazy
too because okay if you guys follow me on instagram you saw that last week I
posted a very emo post it’s fine that is really how I was feeling but it was all
about how like like I’ve been I’m a has been, what even is my life like and
that emo post doesn’t even touch how emo I actually was the day that I was
referring to in that post let me put that in perspective that was the day
before I found out I was pregnant and then the next day we’re getting ready
and I actually that day in my life it might be a week in my life it was when
we went to the dance recital that just went up a couple days ago that is the
day that I tested like right before that dance recital was when I tested positive
and I was upstairs and Dan didn’t want me to take tests without him cuz he was
like I want to know I want to see when you test positive but I also didn’t want
him to tell me to not take a test like oh it’s too early so I snuck I was like
I’m just gonna take a test just cuz it’s not gonna be positive and I took the
test and I got as you’ll see on screen now I got the faintest little line and I
was like I don’t think I’m imagining this cuz last month every time I tested
nothing no shadow nothing and so I go running downstairs and Dan’s working in
the backyard I was like dan dan do you see the shadow and he like leans over
and he looks and he’s like I definitely see a shadow oh and I was like Dan
everything I’m reading online says there are no false positives that if you have
a shadow or anything you are pregnant and he was like oh my gosh I was like I
know so I then tested like later that day after the dance recital same thing
got a shadow I took two tests that night and didn’t get anything but that was at
night after like I had drank a ton of water, my hormones would have been so low
because that was like six days before my miss period anyways and then the next
morning before church tested even stronger line and then the next morning
on Monday I tested with the digital test you guys saw at the beginning and that’s
when I got the pregnant the pregnant test results. We call it Baby P. BABY P!!! Right now, the size of an apple seed the size of an
apple seed cool yeah cuz we got that I mean obviously P..Phillippi, but my sister
calls me Nikki P all the time because I referred to myself as Nikki P in a rap
song once and so now she always knows what I’m Nikki P oh yeah my name is
Nikki P and I’m a rapping wiz so she was like oh my gosh it’s Baby P and I
was like it is Baby P so um that’s it..man. Emotional. They need to grow faster and get out here oh no it’s gonna be fast enough
man um my due date is January 27th so and something else I should we should
circle back to the adoption I didn’t finish this so we are pausing that right
now. That’s kind of the other thing I should have said this earlier is that in
my realization I realized my body has a time limit. Adoption and fostering does
not and so that’s probably the biggest point that I should have made in this
transition of thinking I think we should try is realizing I have a time limit
adoption does not like not that we’re planning on waiting as long as my
parents but my parents are the perfect example
they didn’t even adopt Kasey till they were like 49 so until you were 20 yeah
so really that is still something that we see in our future that’s still
something we care about even if it sidenote never panned out
which I don’t think is gonna be the case but even if it never panned out we care
about orphans like we’ve been donating money to an organization that cares for
kids that don’t have parents that have come out of trafficking for the last
nine years of our marriage so it’s something that we really care about we
still see in our future but we don’t want to pursue both at once
I thought originally like maybe I could do that but right when I got thought I
was pregnant and it was like the reality of like oh my gosh I’m pregnant I was
like no no not fam don’t want to pursue both at the same time from a very for
variety of reasons you could that yeah a lot of people do we don’t need to add
more stress. I don’t feel like I want to
handle that. Baby P needs to be healthy yeah I just I just don’t feel like I
want to deal with that I’m sure I could I know I don’t. There you go.
so um yeah for us right now it’s all just kind of a pause like people build
their families in lots of different ways and it turns out we did not expect this
from the beginning I feel like a lot of you out there probably be like I did we
did not and now it turns out this is what we’re doing this is our journey
this is our path everybody’s really excited. I’ve gotten lots of tears from
family members. Everyone’s weighing in whether they think it’s gonna be a boy
or girl. Both of my sisters think it’s gonna be a boy. My mom is hoping it’s
gonna be a girl. Your mom’s hoping it’s gonna be a girl.
She was like you know Dan takes after her dad so his grandpa they’re
physically like very similar and she’s like and he only had girls and they say
that it’s the boy that carries the I’m like I don’t know what that is but it’s
funny to hear everybody weighing in we are gonna find out the gender and Everyone makes up their own excuses… We’re not really thinking about it. Their own logic but still 50/50 yeah it’s still 50/50 every single time yes you don’t get him
started on that he’ll go off on a whole thing about statistics.
He gets very passionate. We are gonna find out the gender. We will tell you guys at
some point when we find out the gender we’re not really thinking about it too
much we don’t really have a preference and we’re not even really thinking about
names and you’re never gonna see them on the channel or Instagram or anything so
he’s kidding. Bowser…stop! We don’t know to what extent our kids are gonna be
shared on a serious note come here people just deal with that as it comes
your my only babies do well he can’t wait to meet Baby P, his new master so
I’m probably gonna film that video next about how I knew, not knew but the symptoms
I felt before getting a positive test and I’ll upload that later this week so
you can keep your eyes peeled for that Bowser is very happy. Aren’t you?
is that the look of a happy face and even though this is a pregnancy
announcement just like I’ve been doing it all my videos I’m still gonna do a
thank-you giveaway because I was gonna say especially now but it’s always been
this way you guys are like literally supporting
our family by viewing, by every clicking on my links by just engaging you’re
supporting our family and not only that I just love having this community every
single time I upload I’m not even kidding you I’m always blown away by how
much I love having this community with you guys and how hyped I get and then
it’s almost like when I’m away for a couple of days I start to feel weird and
I kind of forget and then I upload again and I’m like I love that I get to do
this that I have this connection with all of you guys and I get to share and
we get to chat and it’s just really cool so check my infobox for the little
secret pregnancy announcement giveaway. I can’t believe we’re filming this video.
We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 11, I can’t believe that the day has
come. When he first started dating me, he told me Nikki I want to be a young dad
and I was like then you’re dating the wrong person. I didn’t know what I was talking about.
That’s what my mom and I were saying she’s like he doesn’t know but like the
time has come it’s so surreal I have I feel like I could just keep going and
going about all of my feelings about being pregnant and how I’ve been waking
up in the middle of the night pretty much every night just tripped out about
the fact that there is a life in me and that I’m like like there’s a there’s a
person I’m like well this is it you’re all-in mom and it’s just like very
surreal for me to the max I’ll stop talking now cuz like I said I could just
go on and on and on but thank you guys in advance for all of your support. We’re
very excited. Well you’re very excited yeah oh he’s so excited all right I’ll
see you guys back on the channel very soon. Bye guys.
(Music playing) you

13 comments

  1. You were one of the first channels I watched on YouTube YEARS ago, and to comeback to find you finally bearing a child, that's insane!

  2. I think from my personal opinion, if you feel that strongly about wanting to be a parent via adoption, you wouldnt care about the age of the child. So having your child biologically makes sense for you.

  3. Awww the way Dan holds Bowsie is the way he's gonna be holding their baby soon?
    They're gonna be amazing parents?

  4. Ooh girl. First off huge congrats , so binge watching more and behind in so many vlogs. I’m a mom vlogger , have 3 kids. Had a miscarriage ( shared on my channel) when trying for our 2nd baby.

    Our 3rd baby was a surprise. Accidental pregnancies def happen. I was on birth control and got prescribed antibiotics, pharmacist, dr nobody told me use backup. Well our surprise 3rd baby( 2nd boy) came 2 years ago( shared entire journey on my channel). Huge congrats and adoption didn’t work out because this was coming for you both naturally. So beautiful! ❤️

  5. I am watching this 3 months later and can relate so much. First, I want to say congratulations (just saw the gender reveal video 1st).
    I too have spent thousands of dollars trying to heal aches and pains that don’t ever seem to get better (we just learn to kinda put up with them). Doctors, specialists, chiropractors, etc.
    Let me tell you that you CAN have your baby and you will be strong for him after your pregnancy as well. Take it from someone who is just like you and has a 16 month baby girl right now.

    God will give you the strength to push through for that baby and for your family!

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