Your Moment of Them: The Best of Jaboukie Young-White | The Daily Show

Your Moment of Them: The Best of Jaboukie Young-White | The Daily Show


[trumpet fanfare]– From Comedy Central’s World
News Headquarters in New York,
“The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah” presents
Your Moment of Them:the Best of
Jaboukie Young-White.
♪ ♪– Hi, I’m Jaboukie Young-White, “The Daily Show’s” senior
Rust Belt correspondent. JK, I’m gay,
and so is Pittsburgh.[upbeat techno music]
It’s Pride month,
and Equality March is the
original Pittsburgh Pride.
It has bikers, pups, pups,
furries, queens,
twunks, drunks, cops, bears,
and fish creatures.
– Pittsburgh Pride Equality
March is for everybody. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you work,
or who you love. – And just so you know,
we love corporations. Viacom, you’re great. Keep doing what you do. We’re really big fans here
at “The Daily Show,” Viacom. Mwah, love you.So the answer is obviouslyto hug these
corporations close,
and corporations
are hugging right back:
Google, KPMG, Aetna, Lyft–
not Chick-fil-A–
and here comes
the true slay queen, Walmart.
[all cheering] Is Walmart gay? – Walmart does take pride
in their gay associates. As a company, I don’t think you can label a company
with a sexual orientation. – Walmart seems like
a top to me. – I–I would–I would
agree with that. – I think it’s amazing that
so many people could come out and just live their truth
as a marketable demographic. – For sure, and they’ve
really made it, like, a safe for everybody,
I think, for us too, so… – Yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%. It’s like, “Here I am.
I’m queer. I have a debit card.”
– Everyone’s gay as hell now. And gays love money, bitch.
You know that, so…– So queer capitalism
is totally chill.
Actually, there
is a specific issue
with corporate
sponsorship in Pittsburgh,
and it involves the F-word.No, not that.Fracking.– There’s a lot of corporations
that are seemingly buying. Last year, this march was
called the EQT Equality March. EQT doesn’t stand for equality. It stands for–they’re
a fracking company. – Do you think that
it’s appropriate that a fracking company is the
sponsor for Pittsburgh Pride? – LOL. I think that it is
completely inappropriate that a fracking company
is a sponsor for anything.– EQT doesn’t just
shoot hot liquid
deep into holes
in the ground.
They also swing both waysby supporting Pride and
various antigay politicians.
So what are people
supposed to do,
have a separate Pride
without corporate sponsors?
Some say frack yes.– This pride event
represents the people, noncorporational Pride, something that centers RTLGBTQ
communities of Pittsburgh. – Do you think corporations
can be gay people? – No, corporations
cannot be gay people.– The People’s Pride
is noncorporate,
has more color in its rainbow,and I found someone who can
keep up with my moves.
But are they turning
their back on progress?
Don’t you think it’s beautiful
that queer people have been able to come out
and live their truth as a marketable,
capitalizing demographic? – No.
[laughs] I would think
it would be beautiful if those actions
were genuine. They want to be a part
of what’s trending right now, and right now, being gay
is trendy, you know. “Pose” is out, and there are
lots of gay celebrities now. – Could you name a couple,
by any chance, if there’s any? – So off the top of my head
right now, Big Freedia. There’s Dashaun Wesley
and Leiomy Maldonado. – Okay, all right.They don’t even want
my brand.
This is where I draw the line.There has to be some way
for corporations like EQT
to prove that
they’re really committed
and not just experimenting.Like, maybe they just need to
show that they’re really about queer subculture in, like,
a more inventive, creative way. – I’m afraid where
you’re going with this. – I thought that maybe
this could really get across the message
of what EQT stands for. It’s like drilling
but also… – It’s a little fast. – With a–with a– – Could you slow it down– [chuckling]
Oh. Eh, maybe that.– That’s right,
progress takes time.
50 years ago,corporations wouldn’t touch
the gay community,
and now they can’t wait
to show their love in public.
And what better way
to reciprocate that love
than with the EQT Varispeed
Deep Fracking Drilldo,
brought to you by EQT.[cheers and applause][upbeat hip-hop music]– So in the last 48 hours, the president has gotten
in fights with Congress, the press, and Twitter,
and, look, we can’t help him
with the first two, but we do have someone
who can help him out online, so please welcome someone
who’s on Twitter right now, Jaboukie Young-White! [cheers and applause] – Oh, hey. What’s up? [wild cheers and applause] Thanks, Trevor. Okay, look, Ineversay this, but I feel bad
for Donald Trump. I mean, like, clearly,
he’s in a social media rut, and we’ve all been there. Your retweet count is down. Your takes are getting cold. You just got unfollowed
by Rihanna. [laughter] – Wait, Jaboukie, didyoujust
get unfollowed by Rihanna? – [choked up] I don’t wanna talk about it
right now, Trevor. I just need to give Trump
some advice real quick, okay? Mr. President, if you want
to get more followers, you gotta switch it up, man. I mean, first of all,
you’re too thirsty. Like, look at all those
capital letters. [laughter] Stop shouting. Nothing screams
“I’m desperate for attention” like tweeting in all caps. You gotta play that shit
cool, right? Put everything in lowercase. “Like, I don’t know, I mean, “I guess we could do
a Muslim ban or not. I don’t really give a [bleep].” [laughter] “I’m chill, you know?” Second, no one wants to hear
about “Fox & Friends” or all that old people shit. Tweet about shows people
actually watch, you know, like that show with
the black baby or whatever that gets kidnapped
by Mandy Moore but then it turns out
being a good thing. [laughter] – You’re talking about
“This Is Us”? – Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God,
every time I watch that show, I’m like, “Damn, this is us,”
you know? [laughter] It’s dope. And speaking of us, there’s one thing that will
boost Trump’s followers: he needs to become a part
of Black Twitter. It’s the only gated community
that he’s not allowed in. – Okay, okay,
slow down, Jaboukie. Come on, like,
that’s something that’s never
gonna happen, man. – Trevor, have some faith, man. If Trump wants to be
on Black Twitter, He’s gotta change
that profile pic. I mean, look at those
dry-ass lips. [laughter] Black people will never
trust someone that ashy. [laughter] It looks like he’s been making out with an urn,
you know, like… [laughter] Get yourself some lotion
and glow the [bleep] up. [laughter and applause] And while you’re at it,
I don’t know, maybe get some earbuds,
a new barber. You know what, just change
your overall look, all right?[laughter]– Jaboukie Young-White,
everybody!
We’ll be right back. Dude, you can’t be–
you gotta be–[bombastic hip-hop music]♪ ♪– For years, grumpy old white
dudes have been telling us
that socialism
is total bullshit.
– Socialism leads
to decline and ruin. – This system
crushes human souls.– But as “The Daily Show’s”new senior youth
correspondent…
[cheers and applause]I know that
millennials right now
think socialism
is totally on trend.
I popped some Molly and hit
the street to find out why
even though the olds hate it,
the kids love socialism.
– Uh, I think
socialism is great. I think you should
definitely help whoever you could
at any situation. – I [bleep] with socialism just
’cause I [bleep] with anything that’s helping
black people out. – Okay. So you’re
socialism curious. – Yeah, a little.
I’m in college. – Do you hate
billionaires? – Low-key, yeah. You look at Jeff Bezos.
He doesn’t look human. – I mean, I think the idea
of socialism is…on point. I mean, I don’t really know
what socialism is, to be completely
honest with you,– Oh, it’s okay.
We’re all confused.
If there were only someone
we could talk to,
someone with some deep
experience on the subject.
When I started doing this
sort of piece on socialism, I knew that there was really
only one politician who I can talk to about it, so I guess my question is,
do you know AOC? – Sure. – And what’s
her availability? Like, if you could put us
in touch, maybe? – [stammering]
You want to speak to her? – Yeah, maybe.
Oh, I just figured, you know. – [laughs]– Seriously, you can’t
talk socialism in America
without going to the OG,
Senator Bernie Sanders.
– I believe in a society
where all people do well, not just the handful
of billionaires.– Could he be the oldest
millennial in America?
I admit it:
Democratic Socialism
looks pretty fine
on his Tinder profile,
but are we gonna vibe
when we meet IRL?
– If you go to countries
like Denmark or Sweden, gonna see very little poverty. You could leave your job.
You could start a new business. You and your family still have
health care as a right. – So I could quit
“The Daily Show” and be fine. – Absolutely. – Well, it was great
meeting with you. – [laughs] – All right, that’s a wrap.So under President Bernie,
we’d be more European,
like Denmark or Narnia.But try telling that
to the haters.
– It’s a terrible system.
It’s never worked. And in order for it
to work at all, you gotta kill several million
people to make it work.[dark musical flourish]– Karol Markowicz has written
on why socialism
needs to be
canceled forever period.
– Millennials have been raised
in such prosperous times. They just think that, “Oh,
we can make it even better with this insane plan
to share the resources.” – You know,
I would love capitalism if it just weren’t
for all the sick people and all the poor people
who can’t afford health care. Is there a way for me
to enjoy capitalism without those things? – If the solution
is socialism, it’s gonna make us all equal
in our poverty. – But if everyone is poor,
isn’t that kind of cool ’cause we’re all experiencing
the same thing? So it’ll be like, “Hey, like, the bread line
was extra long today,” and I’d be like,
“Oh, my God, yeah, it was. That guy is super observant
and, like, funny.” – Not so much, no. I was born
in the Soviet Union. My great-grandfather
was killed in a gulag because he owned a business and socialists decided
that was no longer legal.– That’s truly horrific.Would Bernie be sending
small business owners
to forced labor camps?– Obviously, Soviet Union was an authoritarian society
with no democratic rights, and I think
if you know history, you’ll know that
Democratic Socialists stood up and fought
against that. You can look about
what existed in the Soviet Union
or in Venezuela. That is not what
I’m talking about at all. – So no one’s going
to the gulag. Well, except–
no.[laughter]
– Okay.Fact check: the examplesof failed socialism
that critics use
are not socialist democracies
but authoritarian states
led by corrupt, ruthless,
and paranoid dictators,
but I do have one real problem
with socialism:
I like money.You know, TV’s going
kind of good for me right now, and I’m thinking of writing
a successful book. Is socialism still for me if
I’m a millennial millionaire? – I mean, it depends
on what’s your heart. If what you say in your life
is, “All I wanna do is make “as much money as I possibly
can and screw everything else. I don’t give a damn.” Yeah, no, I don’t think Democratic Socialism
is your cup of tea. But if you have
a decent heart and you say,
“Look, I’m doing really well. “But you know what? “I also want to
be a contributor “to the well-being
of society, so I’m gonna pay
my fair share of taxes.”– Wow, I can havemy CBD-infused gluten-free
cake and eat it too?
I’m liking this socialism
thing more and more,
and Bernie made me
feel so good,
I decided
to share something.
I brought you a present.
– That’s cool. – So…
– All right, anticipating. Oh-ho! That’s beautiful. – Thank you.
I made it myself. When you are elected president, where do you think you’re gonna
put this in the White House? – Someplace, I don’t know
the exact room, but it’s beautiful
and I thank you for it.– You’re welcome, Bernie.
Enjoy.
[cheers and applause][bombastic hip-hop music]♪ ♪– If you’ve been following
the Jussie Smollett story, you know that a few weeks ago,
the “Empire” actor said he was attacked
by racist Trump supporters, who beat him up,
tied a rope around his neck, and poured bleach on him. For more on this
crazy emerging story, we’re joined now by our senior culture
correspondent Jaboukie Young-White,
everybody! [cheers and applause] Jaboukie, you’ve been following
this story from the start, and now that it looks like
it may have been staged, are you surprised? – I’m not surprised,
but I’m disappointed, you know. This story’s been weird
for me, Trevor. As a gay person, I’m used
to speaking on gay issues. As a black person, I’m used
to speaking on black issues. But I’m not used to them
intercepting, except when, like, someone’s
like, “As a gay black person, do you think I could
pull off these shoes?” [laughter] Or, like,
if RuPaul robbed a bank, that’d be
the only other time. [laughter] – That actually is true. You’re looking at this as a gay
person and as a black person. – And I’m also a part
of a third community that has been
devastated by this: the actor community, Trevor. [laughter] Because of Jussie,
everyone’s gonna think actors are liars now,
which, technically, we are because, like, that’s our job,
but still, you know? And on top of that,
I look like him. – Well, actually, I don’t
really think you look like him. – Mm, to white people,
I do. [laughter] And hopefully
to whoever is casting the Jussie Smollett
Lifetime movie… [laughter] [applause] Because… [cheers and applause] This story was made
for Lifetime, you know? We’re still piecing together leaks from the
Chicago Police Department and more reliable sources
like “TMZ.” [laughter] But you couldn’t have written
a crazier plot. I mean, Trump supporters
who watch “Empire.” A death threat letter made out
of magazine clippings. That’s so dated, you know? Everyone knows if you’re
sending a death threat, you post that shit on Twitter. – Well, Jaboukie,
I think you’re getting ahead of yourself,
though. The big question now
is, like, why? Why would Jussie Smollett
do something like this? – I don’t know
why he did it, man. I mean, if he wanted to raise
awareness for LGBTQ rights, he should have just
donated money. If he wanted attention, he could have
just leaked his nudes. And if he wanted to hang out
with two guys at 2:00 a.m., Grindr is right there. – Okay, but here’s what
I’m worried about, thought. Won’t this make it harder for
victims of real hate crimes to come forward
and get justice? – Not really because that would
have required people to have
cared about queer people, specifically queer black
people, in the first place. – Whoa, Jaboukie,
that’s a strong statement. I think most people do care. – Trevor, you clearly
haven’t heard of the gay trans
panic defense. It’s a totally admissible
legal defense where someone can get a lighter sentence for
killing a gay or transperson by claiming the victim
hit on them. – Are you being serious?
– Yes. No, in 47 states,
including New York, someone could beat a gay person
like me to death and then go,
“Well, I don’t know. He wanted to suck my dick.” And you know what?
Maybe I did. [laughter] But that’s still
not a good reason, you know? I mean, imagine if women
could use that defense. There’d be no men left. [laughter] None. [cheers and applause]
None. And then…I don’t know. Who would be left to buy all the three-in-one body wash,
shampoo, and conditioner? – Well, some of us
are busy. We don’t have time
for lots of products, okay? But, anyway,
this is–this is obviously unfortunate
on so many levels. What is your takeaway
going forward? – Honestly, Trevor, I think that this is
a teaching moment for us all, and, personally, I’ve learned
one really valuable lesson, which is that actors should not
write their own projects. I mean, this thing
had way too many plot holes. He totally miscast
the villains. I mean, two Nigerian
Trump supporters? [laughter] Like, you can’t just cast black
people as racist white people. This isn’t “Hamilton.” [laughter] [applause] Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve
got an audition to prepare for. I hear there’s a new role that might be opening up
on “Empire.”[cheers and applause]♪ ♪– Here’s your salary
for the week, Jussie.[light piano music]– What? [chuckles] $60,000? I’ve worked three days
this week. – Maybe you’re not
as important as you think. – [sobs] [crying]
It’s not enough! It’s just not enough.[ominous music]– His poverty drove him
to crime.
♪ ♪– I’m so important
on this show, I’m getting death threats.[dramatic musical flourish]– Wow, this is shocking. You’re actually
getting fan mail. So cool.– They didn’t take him
seriously enough…
– They don’t take me
seriously enough.– So he came up with a planthat would
change his life forever.
– What is wrong, Jussie? – I’m sorry, Nigerian trainer. I can’t concentrate. I sent myself
a death threat letter at work. Nobody cared. – Why would no one care? You are famous. – And gay. – What if that letter was real and a Trump supporter
beat you up in the street because you are famous? – And gay. – I know what I need to do. I need to find a MAGA Trump
supporter and get him to beat me up in the streets,
and then I’ll make more money. – But, Jussie, where would
you find Trump supporters willing to participate
in this risky scheme? [chuckles] – I’m looking at ’em right now.[laughter]I’m talking
about you guys!– And so the plot was hatched.– I have the hat
and the noose so that everyone knows
I am racist. – Good.
[claps] Good job. Good job.
You got it. – And I brought the bleach. – Bleach, why? – I am so racist that I want
to turn black people white.[laughter]– Critics are calling it
the performance of the year.
– Mmm, I love eating
sandwiches at 2:00 a.m. – Hey, aren’t you that actor
that is underpaid on the show
“Empire” who is very famous? – And gay.
– Yes, I am. Ah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah! Ah! Ow! Okay, that really hurt. – This is MAGA country. – Ah![dramatic musical flourish]I’m the gay Tupac.[laughter][bombastic hip-hop music][upbeat rock music]♪ ♪– Look, no matter how many
times Trump says Mexico will pay for the wall,
that’s clearly not happening. But I see why Trump
has this fantasy. Imagine how cool it would be
to get away with buying whatever you want
with imaginary Mexican money.– If you want
to change the world,
you need substance and style.This is the one.Now I can afford looks that
are as sharp as my ideas
with my A-Mexican Express
card.
[loud beep] – Oh, um, yeah,
there’s no money on this. – Yeah, Mexico’s
paying for it.[laughter]– That makes
no [bleep]ing sense.– With my A-Mexican Express
card,
all my purchases
are covered…somehow.
Damn. It’s super expensive and it’s
not gonna protect me at all, but who cares? Mexico’s got this. – I’m sorry, what do you mean
Mexico’s gonna pay for it? – Are they gonna
write us a check? – Check? No. I take the clothes now, and then Mexico
pays you back indirectly.With the A-Mexican Express
card, nothing’s out of reach,
no matter how stupid.– Come on, man,
you gotta pay for that. – It’s already paid for itself. – No.
No, it hasn’t.– The A-Mexican Express card:don’t buy stuff
you don’t need without it.
– Sir! Sir![cheers and applause][bombastic hip-hop music]

100 comments

  1. I wanna see more of Jabourie actually all the comics are so funny and talented it’s great when they move on to bigger and better jobs but I love seeing them all together on your show seems like there’s no replacements for any of them, great people working together from all walks races and genders 👍🏽🥰🙏🏾💪💪🏾💪🏻😂

  2. Bernie is not a socialist he's a social democrat. Denmark is not a socialist country, it's a social democracy.

    A social democracy is a free market economy with a large social safety net

    Democratic socialism is when the means of production are publicly and democratically owned

    People like Bernie fuel the right-wing smear machine by messing up their terms.

  3. all germany wants to see bernie sanders as presidant!! please make it happen!!! please!! PLEASE!!!! WE WANT BEARNIE SANDERS!!!!! we are that much jealous that america have such people like him.. just let it be.. america was an exaple for europe since 1950.. JUST DO IT!!!

  4. I just want to know YouTube fan if you got Sons is it all right if they suck dicks give me a yes or no I know damn well mine by not

  5. lot's of props for the gays and woke youth. don't stay quiet, don't hide, don't let anyone push you around. Keep strong. smart, optimistic and aware.

  6. "Being gay is trendy"-a mellow gay talking to a trendy gay.

    Jaboukie is not funny. He just overplays his hand and doesnt have comedic timing to save his ass. I get it though….Daily show needs a gay rep.

  7. Millennials were raised in prosperity? B*tch where? 1991 I was born during Bush 1’s Presidency, the man in office during most of my childhood was a centrist suppressing anyone to his left and consolidating power to the presidency so that Bush 2 could launch us into a recession, I watch friends leave “for sale” homes that years turned into abandoned ones. I got to see another centrist elected he made big promises but ultimately did little more than not make it worse for the time that he was in office but he still consolidated more power to the presidency and now we have a Nazi man child as president.
    That’s 2 recessions (about to be 3), 9/11, half a dozen wars, and at the center of it all is a bunch of capitalist trying to either save a penny or make a dollar and you ask me why I prefer socialism.
    Because I use the brain I have.

  8. You know what I dont like about gays?There disrespecting the rainbow.the rainbow is for the frequencies,the dementions,multiculturism,artistry.Yet they use it as a calling card for two of the same getting it on.I have gay freinds but the rainbow makes me furious.you know how much smarter wed be if we werent dodging the rainbow?The reason Im saying this is,I want to start a new country out of america.New Babylon.Rainbow striped flag with a pitch fork.

  9. I missed that Jussie skit whenever it aired. Too funny. Didn't get the Tupac reference though. Probably need to rewind

  10. "Imagine if women could use that defense? There'd be no men left!" The daily show should have taken another look at that before using it on the show. The show has taken a pro-feminist stance. So what the hell is this? It sounds like it's right out of the pasty orange mouth of our 45. That whole segment was prejudiced against women.

  11. Wow. The chick talking about millenniums being raised is prosperous times is clueless and it of touch. Not sure why ppl get communism and democratic socialism mixed up. Are they slow?

  12. Worst "correspondent" ever.
    The Daily Show is getting as bad as Glee. Go for diversity via equal OPPORTUNITY, not outcome. Other comedians struggled for years to get on, yet you sign a contract with this mobile stereotype? Only in "Woke" America. So now you have 1 white guy, 1 white woman, 1 large black woman, 1 chinese man, 1 gay mixed race confused millenial, 1 old white jew with the shakes. I'm waiting for a native american, gender unknown, in a wheelchair.

  13. That bitch said millennials grew up in a prosperous era. Millennials and Z generation had to grow up through the 2008 crisis, which is almost as worst as the great depression. Most of their parents lost their homes. No like baby boomers who could have one parent work and still afford a house and go to college for like nothing.

  14. So awesome to see my city on here! GREETINGS FROM DA BURGH ! 🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️

  15. Denmark is not socialist, we have a capitalistic market system, but it's heavily regulated, and we redistributed wealth though high taxation.

  16. best joke ever told: "free healthcare for everybody is socialist" xD
    The more I learn about America the more I feel sorry for everyone who is not at least upper class. (Really wish I would not have to say this…)
    Greetings from Germany!

  17. I may not agree with the homosexual conduct but the skit in regard to the Jussie Smollet case was pretty darn funny.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *